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Re: amazingly strong! JenStar

Posted by JenStar on August 6, 2004, at 0:01:20

In reply to Re: amazingly strong! JenStar, posted by Susan47 on August 4, 2004, at 9:56:51

hi there! :) Looks like I sparked an interesting follow-up set of comments. Thanks to everyone who responded, because I appreciate reading your points of view and learning how you feel.

Susan, your comment about your T was intriguing, and naturally (being nosy) I'm curious to know why you are not happy with the situation -- but if it's too personal, I retract the question. :)

I've been doing a lot of reading lately on different kinds of therapy, and the whole topic is fascinating to me.

In every book I read BY a therapist, (MD's and/or PhD's), the therapist made it clear that it was important for the person receiving therapy to 'give themselves over' to the process, completely trust the T, and allow their transferences to take over. I did read a certain arrogance and presumption of "I know best" in each of the books. I don't know if this is shared by all T's (I supposed it MUST, in a sense - otherwise why become one, if you don't best know the ways to help cure someone?) But it turned me off, somehow. I guess I prefer people who are strong confident of their skills but have a disarming kind of humility as well instead of an arrogant air; that always seems to charm me.

I guess what fascinates me MOST is that here is this therapist -- a human being (just like me!) and he/she plans to become the most influential, important person in my life and will help me with all major life decisions. That's a heavy burden, and not everyone is really capable of doing it well. I know not all T's operate this way, but the authors of several books seem to believe that is the best way.

It just seems scary to give yourself over this way to someone who is not perfect and probably doesn't know all the answers; someone who is biased (even if they don't want to be).

That's why I'm so opposed to the idea of a person becoming SO reliant on a T. How do you know this person is really doing you any good? How can you tell? How can you tell when they're NOT doing you good? When is transference healthy and when is it flypaper for both of you? And can you REALLY trust the T to know?

But it's fun (at least for me) to think about these kinds of things. I like to debate things, with myself and with others.

I guess I need a therapist who's perfect and likes to argue. (grin.)





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