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Re:starlight Jadah

Posted by starlight on August 4, 2004, at 14:11:16

In reply to Re:starlight, posted by Jadah on August 3, 2004, at 19:25:31

You can see someone else without telling your current Pdoc. And you can discuss these issues without revealing his name. I think if you're expecting that it will come crashing down at some point, you should be prepared by having some sort of support mechanism and by feeling good about yourself and your choices. I think that feeling good about your choices is paramount. The decision to engage in this relationship was made by both of you, so I believe, despite what others say, that you can turn this into a positive healing experience. But you also have got to work on feeling confident that you can emerge from this (if it changes) a stronger, more experienced, more compassionate and understanding human being. You must be non judgemental towards yourself and him, so that you can avoid any guilt feelings that may arise. This is paramount.

Believe in yourself and your ability to emerge victorious and be agressive in seeking some support, be it a good friend, a therapist - someone. Just in case.

I was a severe bulimic during my late teens and early twenties. We're talking severe - basically at times, going from place to place, eating and vomiting. It was pretty uncontrollable and I didn't think I'd ever be free from the compulsion to do that. It was so bad that I would usually head for the nearest all you can eat restaurant right after leaving my therapy session.

Then I embarked on a self improvement journey. I started taking classes at my community college and making straight A's, I started painting and studying classical voice. I started working out and in general feeling stronger and better about who I was as a person. Then one night, I had a dream, where my ex fiance walked into the bathroom and caught me vomiting and he looked at me and said "starlight, you've really got to stop this." And the next morning I woke up and the urge to do it was gone. Gone!!! And it's been gone ever since. But I firmly believe that the reason I was able to break through was because I felt better about myself as a person.

So, feel strong in who you are without him, try to eliminate your dependency on him. I know it will be hard, but it will help you in the long run.




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