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Re: suicidal thought remorse? TexasChic

Posted by B2chica on July 15, 2004, at 15:11:44

In reply to Re: suicidal thought remorse? B2chica, posted by TexasChic on July 15, 2004, at 11:56:50

Hey TexasChica!
haven't heard from you in a while. it's nice to talk to you.

>>What makes you think your issues aren't as real as those people with physical disabilities?

-this is something i struggle with a LOT. the other day i saw a client that is 23 and had a brain stem stroke and is mostly locked-in (meaning he's cognitively intact but has virtually no way to communicate-has some eye movement)on a vent.
then we work largely with persons diagnosed with ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease-terminal) very VERY difficult to deal with.
i see these persons with such a determination to fight every step of the way. sometimes it encourages me (kinda rubs off on me) but other times it makes me feel SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much worse about myself.

i guess maybe it's petty but, you are right, and i think sometimes i just need to hear that. you know how you can tell yourself something 100 times and still not believe it but when someone else says it once you can????

>>I'm really glad you didn't go through with the pills, but I can certainly understand the urge. You're not alone. I hope you'll continue to fight the fight, and I'll do the same.

Now this encourages me. it seems like i've had a lot of "waves" lately. i'm ok for the moment but in an hour or two i could be depressed again. like that and first thing i do is stare at my pills. I just got refills yesterday and even though my pdoc suggested i stop taking the sleeping pills i got a refill. not cuz i was ready to take them all, but a sort of "just in case". thinking about the reasoning scares me a bit cuz i was for the most part feeling level not depressed, yet i still purchased them with that specific in mind??? i hope i'm not heading down that road just yet. i'm just very tired and need a break for a while from all these emotions.
My husband wants us to go camping tomorrow night (one night) i finally agreed. Maybe a night away from everything will help?

And i really like you saying that you'll hang in there if i do. this Actually gives me a reason to think twice.
Thank you for your support TC.




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