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Re: suicidal thought remorse? cubic_me

Posted by B2chica on July 15, 2004, at 10:43:23

In reply to Re: suicidal thought remorse? B2chica, posted by cubic_me on July 15, 2004, at 8:19:10

My gosh CM, i've been missing you...where ya been?
are you ok?
-i had a switch last week and mania popped in (aka: super b@tch). Man i hate that. it takes all my effort just to monitor what i say. the bad part is anymore if it does pop up it's a "nice" hypomania for about two days then look out. i become dysphoric very quickly, i become SO beligerant and intolerable. and it's like i get the shakes cuz i can't control what's going on inside my mind/body. boy, i wish i was one of those few that LOVE my hypomania. but i HATE IT!! but on the other hand, i guess this is where i am thankful for being bipolar cuz i know i will eventually change the mood :)
-good news is that i've only cut once in the last week and 1/2, but i've been doing a lot of food restriction and yes...(this is kinda descriptive) but taking lots of ex-lax.
i guess i just traded one for the other.
-Good news is that i saw my GP this i just LOVE him. he's the best. and i talked with him for about a 1/2 hour, and did tell him about the switch in mood and switch in self-harm- and spent some time talking about how i'm supposed to open up to my T, and how to tell him that i have SO many more issues. I wish my GP WAS my T. (then again i guess he kinda is cuz i was telling him so much- i think i tell him more in 15 min than i do several sessions with my T.) i guess it's just that darn trust issue coming up. -i've seen the same GP for 8 years and truly TRUST him. (and i rarely say that about ANYONE!)

-ok, enough of my drama. i want to know how you are doing? are things ok?
i REALLY DO care about you A LOT and want to keep in touch with you and know you're alright!
waiting to hear.

btw, are you switching names from cubic me to cubic x? (or am i showing my ignorance and it's some mathematical term?....)

> Hey B2c, I'm back...
> cubic x




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