Psycho-Babble Psychology | about psychological treatments | Framed
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Re: How does therapy help you?

Posted by daisym on July 14, 2004, at 19:53:35

In reply to How does therapy help you?, posted by Dinah on July 14, 2004, at 17:00:28

I'm glad I'm in space to answer this instead of railing against it saying, "It hasn't!"

Therapy has given me a vocabulary for my inner life. And allowed me the space and safety to explore long exiled feelings that have forced their way back in. It is the great container of all the secrets that I can no longer hold alone. And it provides space for ME, just mine alone. It is also a huge source of disorganization and confusion at times.

My therapist has provided all the right things therapist are supposed to: safety, security, frustration and support. But mostly he has provide a gentleness that I've never had before. He has reframed some terrible things in a way that I can live with them. He pulled out the little kid me and made it OK for her to exist, let alone talk. And he hypothesized that I was always sensitive, but made that sound like a good thing.

Mostly, therapy is teaching me to trust and like you, Dinah, helping me see that emotional distance isn't always necessary. I am learning to lean on people when I need to and to ask for help. Just beginning mind you, no where near there yet. No where near.

My therapist would probably agree that I have a ways to go in the reaching out department. After a two week struggle, we reached an agreement Monday on an experiment around allowing myself to need and reach out to him. He was asking why I didn't call over the weekend when I was having a hard time and I was giving him the same old reasons about not wanting to bother him because it wasn't a "crisis" and I felt I should handle the separation anxiety and little-kid-lost feeling on my own. Besides, I said I felt really stupid calling and saying, "Um, I'm sad, lonely and lost. But nothing is really wrong." Soooo, he made up new rules and I have promised to live by them for at least 3 weeks. The rules are if I feel anxious, sad, lonely or lost, I'm to call him. And I'm to say, "Hi, I think I need to touch base for a few minutes." The adult part of me is not allowed to add, "if you have time, if you don't mind, I'm sorry" or anything else. He wants me to just "cave in to it" and see what happens.

So I guess therapy has provided me also with my secure base. Something that's been missing my whole life.




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