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Re: DBT thoughts of suicide***why? terrics

Posted by fallsfall on July 14, 2004, at 7:51:08

In reply to DBT thoughts of suicide***why?, posted by terrics on July 13, 2004, at 21:38:37

Perhaps her grilling forces you to look at your behaviors. Maybe you can see that the behaviors need to change. But maybe you can't see how the behaviors *can* change. So what she is asking of you (really what YOU are asking of you) is to make a change that you can't see is possible. For me, that is an incredibly hopeless position - to know that *I* want to change something but to believe that it is not possible to change it.

You may *need* to be in this position in order to be able to see "outside the box" enough to find a way that you *can* change things. Without the discomfort, I know that I don't have the motivation to move outside of my "safe" zone. It is like I have to see the danger of moving out of my safe zone as being "easier" than the pain of staying where I am.

This is how it is for me (but I'm not sure I explained it clearly at all). If this resonates at all with you, but I wasn't clear, I can try to be clearer. It may be completely different for you... This is just one possibility.

 

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poster:fallsfall thread:365843
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