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Re: A nice session to share pinkeye

Posted by Dinah on July 13, 2004, at 15:51:43

In reply to Re: A nice session to share, posted by pinkeye on July 13, 2004, at 13:26:21

Hello, Pinkeye. I'm sorry to have been snippy in my response to you. I was rather caught by surprise. While I was rather expecting a post exactly like yours and knowingly made the choice to post knowing that I could get such a reply, because I wanted to share a really nice session with those other than the people I had off board contact with, I was also rather expecting the post I expected to come from a different poster.

So I was rather hurt and surprised to open a post from you and see a post like that. As Pegasus has said, I've read many of your posts and as you aren't given to posting unkind remarks, I'll assume that you either don't understand long term therapy relationships, or didn't at all mean what your post appears to imply.

So here goes:

> Hi Dinah,
> You have been going to therapy for nearly 8 - 9 years right?
> I feel 8 - 9 years is a long enough time to start cutting down.

I think that that decision is best made by my therapist and I, who have an intimate knowledge of my reasons for being in therapy. I know it's difficult for those who have no familiarity with therapy, or who are only familiar with short term models, to understand the dynamics of a long term therapy relationship.

> How long can you go on with having therapy to meet your needs?

I don't go to therapy to meet my "needs" as in all my needs. I go to therapy to meet my need for therapy. I have a husband to meet my needs for a husband and intimate, a son... well, I'm put here on earth to meet his needs not vice versa. But he certainly adds meaning and joy to my life. Therapy helps me be a better wife and mother.

> After all, it is a pseudo relationship right? So it might make sense to cut down and start looking for REAL ways to fill you.

As I said, I have "other" ways to fill me. But that doesn't mean that the therapeutic relationship is "fake" or not REAL. It's just different and meets different needs. I hardly have an impoverished life, and I hope that isn't what you meant to imply. I have a husband who is also my best friend, a charming and delightful son, hobbies and interests, and family and friends, a job that I hate, but that is challenging and that I am very good at.

I'm sorry you don't understand the purpose of a long term therapeutic relationship. And I understand if it's not something you desire in your life. But please don't denigrate my choices or make presumptions about my life outside therapy just because they wouldn't be your choices.

 

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