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Re: Therapy heartache - I called!

Posted by KindGirl on July 9, 2004, at 22:30:47

In reply to Re: Therapy heartache - I called! bent, posted by terrics on June 30, 2004, at 10:58:31

I have been on and off these days, but read this thread and wanted to jump in. You guys give such awesome support! It is always a comfort to come here and drop in, read a bit. It feels like a cup of coffee by a warm fire on a cold night for me.
I am soooooooooooooooooooo glad you called. Good for you. That took an incredible amount of courage.

You are so cute. You sound so much like me with the things that you struggle with, but much cuter. :)

I have a great t... a very warm and touchy t...I love love love love it....she is the dream therapist I think. But I am in AGONY when we are apart each week, which is 6 days and 23 hours, unfortunately. I miss her so much...I think about her so much...I know she has a separate life from me but I will never know anything about it, and that can kill me.

She tells me over and over and over again that I need to need her. I need to call her, to lean on her, to ask her for what I need. She says just the fact that I come every week is a tremendous act of trust and courage, and she also has told me my dependency "muscle" needs exercise. I need to work those muscles that I have never used (i.e. needing someone, depending on someone, crying with someone, sharing my despair) is the hardest thing we will ever do, she says.

I don't know if this helps you, or anyone, but one thing my t. said this week that helped was how exhausting this work is (recovery) because I am breaking generations and generations of abuse, neglect, alcoholism, drug abuse. I am not passing these on to my children, and as painful as this work is, it is the most important thing I will ever do in my life. She says my children will have me, all of me...they will not have the shame and fear of the family line because I am doing the work to break it. That made a lot of sense to me, and it also helped me understand why I am totally wiped out after sessions and even the next day. This is very hard work.

Thanks everyone for continuing to share. Yes, post here while she is gone!!!!! You will get enough strength from the folks here to carry you through till she gets back from vacation.




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