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Re: Having Your Pain Devalued Elle2021

Posted by daisym on July 9, 2004, at 13:33:59

In reply to Having Your Pain Devalued, posted by Elle2021 on July 9, 2004, at 2:41:03

I agree with Tabitha. I think people minimize things to try to make you feel better. Or maybe they are making themselves feel better. I've recently had several of these experiences (see post above) and have decided to not share so much. But even in everyday things, people can be insensitive without meaning to.

The worst is when people engage in "one-up manship." Sort of like, "my pain is worse than your pain." I think I said it before, as a therapy client, we get use to empathy for our pain, we don't have to PROVE it is painful or prove the intensity of a situation. Our perceptions are valid and count. The outside world wants to tell us our perceptions are wrong, therefore our experiences shouldn't be painful.

*sigh* How to deal with it? I pull back and hide my hurt. Other people say, "that hurts my feelings." I've even known people to stop and ask, "why would you think telling me that would help me?" so make their point.

I'm sorry you had a bad experience. If something hurt you, it does matter and you deserve some sympathy and support. I hope you feel it here.




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