Psycho-Babble Psychology | about psychological treatments | Framed
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Re: Very weird question

Posted by daisym on July 9, 2004, at 13:25:47

In reply to Very weird question, posted by Dinah on July 9, 2004, at 12:26:18

I think what you've hit on is that the unconscious defenses are very powerful and by definition "out of your control." I also think the unconscious is very smart and changes tactics to meet the same needs or protect the same things. Yalom refers to it as a sneaky opponent to therapists. The more you probe it, the tougher, more hidden things get.

Most of us would swear we aren't being defensive, that there is not reason to protect ourselves from "this" whatever "this" is...

Therapy makes us more aware of the times we are doing it, but doesn't necessarily make us stop doing it.

I had that experience on Monday...we were talking about transference and how my feelings for my husband, and our sex life were all tangled up now with my feelings about the past abuse stuff. As we talked I began to withdraw, noticed that the leaves were blowing outside on the tree and heard him say, "where are you going" which pulled me back but I couldn't continue. I pulled half the couch pillows into my lap and he said, "and now you are shutting down." Didn't matter that we labeled it, it still happened. I wanted to turn my brain back on but couldn't.

So while I think everyone's experience is different, I think it does happen to many of us as a self-protective response. And I don't think we can stop doing it, just because we are aware of it or want to.




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