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Re: sheepish tabitha

Posted by gardenergirl on July 9, 2004, at 10:08:24

In reply to Re: sheepish, posted by tabitha on July 9, 2004, at 1:20:39

> And some people just aren't wired for conflict, and they might make some improvements in their tolerance, but it might be an issue that just doesn't change much over their lives. So it kinda sounds like I'm a delicate flower, which isn't the best thing, but at least it's not 'I've failed therapy'.

Tabitha, delicate flowers are beautiful too. They just need a bit of extra loving care and protection. And it's neither good or bad if you are delicate or sensitive. It just is. Please don't feel bad about it. It's not a flaw, something to try to "fix" or a failure. But I think it does mean that groups such as yours are especially difficult for you compared to others. I'm glad you were able to communicate this to your therapist and gain her understanding.
> It clears something up-- I really thought she encouraged us to get into conflict the one session when I got really hurt, and I didn't get that, it seemed sadistic to me, like stirring up trouble between us, but apparently she believes conflict can actually help relationships, or some people benefit from it, or something.

Yikes, sounds a bit sadistic to me, too. I think I would rather rehash conflicts IRL with my T rather than have conflicts stirred up in order to experience them in group. Yuck. But at least she was honest about it, and you don't have to second guess things now.
> I feel bad 'cause a whole bunch of people have suggested I get a med check and I didn't want to do it, now she says to do it and I finally agree. But whatever, I guess I need a med check.

Please don't feel bad about this. Sometimes it just takes repetition or hearing it at just the right time or from just the right person for you to feel comfortable with advice.

Take care. I'm glad you had such a productive session with your T.





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