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Re: no more flashbacks. shadows721

Posted by B2chica on July 8, 2004, at 11:41:30

In reply to Re: please more flashbacks., posted by shadows721 on July 7, 2004, at 19:08:48

Shadows, i'm SO sorry you learned this hard lesson. My heart TRULY goes out to you.

>>It seems the more you run from the memories, the more force they have. I was once told that my memories and flashbacks were to come up only in therapy. HA! I've never had that happen.

-mine mostly occur during the day, sometimes later at night but mostly during the day. this s@cks cuz i could be at work or at home around people and it happens so fast with no warning that i usually cringe and "push back" (don't know how else to describe that) usually if someone's around i just say "this bug about flew in my eye!" (usually works) i laugh abit to, to lighten the mood. Believe me i've had YEARS of practice covering up my REAL feelings so it's no prob for me to cover this up.

although i'm still pretty new to this i've also NEVER had them come up during T session. infact normally the new ones come out late that night After my session. (during my normal stupid delayed breakdown.)

>>B2, I have read that it helps to write down these things in a journal and close the journal on it.

this sounds like it would work but i could NEVER write these down as i would NEVER want proof that any of this EVER happened. Until this year most of this i didn't even remember. and i have a husband that does not respect my privacy and i could NEVER risk ANYONE reading it...EVER.

> Check list includes:
> Night light
> Blanket
> Sloothing music
> stuffed animal
> real living furry animal
> medications
> children books
> journal
> flashlight (just in case lights go off :)

>>Has your T worked with you on containment and safe place work?

No, but i finally mentioned these "flashbacks just yesterday morning to him. He asked if they were from what we've already talked about or other stuff. and i froze up and couldn't answer.(i didn't want to lie, but i didn't want to admit it either). so i think he thought all my stuff was out and he's just now realized i have more. So maybe i'll take what you've said with me next week and ask him "containment" or anything that can help control these things. I HATE THEM, i am So Utterly disgusted by some of the pictures that they make me sick to my stomach. that inside i'm screaming "NO!!! i'm making that up, i've NEVER seen that! That Wasn't ME!.. Not True, not true, not true!

thank you for the checklist. It seems that i've had this weird waves of fear and sometimes i lay down on my bed and i literally can't move, i'm afraid to move! so maybe i can have some of this stuff to help with that feeling of fear too?
Thanks for the advice Shadows.




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