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Re: Mixed emotions Bent

Posted by Dinah on July 7, 2004, at 15:40:58

In reply to Mixed emotions, posted by Bent on July 7, 2004, at 13:50:57

I think what you're experiencing is pretty normal. Have you ever read "In Session"? It describes things like this happening to a number of clients.

I talked about it once with my therapist and he was pretty cool about it. I hadn't driven by his house, but I think maybe he thought I had and was smoothing the way for a confession. He said that some clients just need to feel a connection to their therapists between sessions, and I suppose on vacation even more, and that as long as I didn't stalk him or his family or ring his doorbell he thought it was ok.

Warning: Not all therapists are as laid back as mine, and some *do* mind, so disclose with caution.

I think the wondering about their personal lives is perfectly normal, too. Therapy is such a weird relationship, and too new for the human emotional repertoire to be wired for it. So we have this one sided disclosure and vulnerability that is totally contrary to normal human discourse. I think we're wired to disclose, wait for reciprocal disclosure, then disclose more.

Don't beat yourself up over it. The more you obsess over feeling guilty, the more hold it will have over you.

I think I've successfully worked through this with my therapist, so I think it can be done.

Yet I'll admit that when he tells me where he's going on vacations (in general terms, not specific), I like to be able to place him geographically in my mind. Not obsessively, but... well, you know. So that I know he's still around.




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