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Re: Any response? Anyone? Please?*si trigger* Racer

Posted by karen_kay on April 9, 2004, at 20:33:16

In reply to Any response? Anyone? Please? (nm), posted by Racer on April 8, 2004, at 14:47:52

racer dear... i used to absolutely hate my body and myself. to the point that i would hit myself with anything that was around. i had a mother who would call me fat and ugly growing up. i carried those words around with me until i left that house.

after i left the town and lived on my own, what i did (without a therapist) was started small. i used ot look in the mirror and cry because i thought i didn't even look human. but, when i got away from my mother, i started with my eyes. i love my eyes. and i'd tell myself, 'girl, you have beautiful eyes. if nothing else is workng in your life, you have beautiful eyes and that's all you need.' after a while, i felt better about myself. then, i began to focus on my neck. (granted, i lost quite a bit of weight at the time, but that doesn't apply to you as you are thin).. so, i'd look in the mirror and stare at my eyes and neck. and i'd tell myself over and over again, while looking at my eyes and touching my neck, 'girl, the world can go to he!!, but you sure have beautiful eyes and the longes neck in the world. you are beautiful.' it worked. then, i moved on to my collar bones. same thing. stare in the mirrorand tell myself over and over again that i have beautiful eyes, the most beautiful neck and wonderful collar bones. and i'd touch them. i'd move on to various parts of my body that i liked. my hip bones, my legs, other parts that i liked and possibly recieved compliments on.....

i know, it sounds like crap. but, looking, staring at your body, starting very small with a feature that you like and reapeating to yourself that THAT feature is beautiful worked for me. i swear on my life. i now accept my body. and respect it. i think my body is beautiful. try it darling. and when you start thinking those bad thoughts, just remember, 'i have the most beautiful eyes in the world. the rest of the world can go to he!!...." that's what worked for me..

sorry it took me so long to post this girlie. it's just hard for me to remember the horrible things my mother said. but, i hope that you find a way to work things out dear. i know you are beautiful. i hope that one day you know it too. take care racer.




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