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Report after 1st session, for Pfinstegg

Posted by Racer on April 6, 2004, at 10:36:37

You know, I'm ashamed to admit some of what's going on with me, so this is an abbreviated account of my reactions. While I am sorry if anyone is offended by that, I'm also proud of myself for realizing that I have boundaries about this and protecting them.

Overall, I'm hopeful again. The session did not feel adversarial to me, which it had been feeling with the last therapist (pretty much from the first.) She brought up going into my pdoc appointment with me, asking if that would help, and I said I'd be more comfortable with a coaching session on how to talk to him or maybe having her come along, but that anything like that had to wait until we'd built up a therapeutic relationship and some trust. She didn't seem offended, more like "duh! I forgot to mention that part!" It's too early to tell what will happen, but she didn't hit on either of my two trigger points: being too nice, too "awww, honey, it's so hard for you, you poor thing" which I distrust strongly; nor the "well, and what are you planning to do about it because it's all up to you?" I already put enough pressure on myself, that when someone starts in on that with me, it's pretty devastating for me. And the sympathetic stuff just makes me feel more depressed. So, she seems to be that happy medium, and she did say something about me seeming motivated to work, and she is willing to see me twice a week for now -- which is a huge big deal for me. This has been going on for far too long with no relief, and I'm more than ready to get somewhere with it. Being seen more often, so that I can really start working on it, really makes me feel better.

So, I'm cautiously optimistic about this one. Which, since I don't have anything in the way of choice in the matter, really makes a difference.

And thanks for asking, Pfinstegg -- it's nice to feel that someone cares.




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