Psycho-Babble Psychology | about psychological treatments | Framed
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An Update

Posted by mair on April 4, 2004, at 21:28:20

In reply to Mair, that sounds like a good idea., posted by Dinah on April 4, 2004, at 20:06:34

Hey guys I can't tell you how much your support has meant this weekend. After stewing about this a chunk of the day, I did finally call her office and left a message on her machine which didn't say much other than to explain a little about the letter and to tell her that I did intend to make my appointment on Tuesday. I'm so awful talking about this stuff on the phone - I get nervous just leaving a message on voice mail. She called me back a couple of hours ago because she called her office to check her messages. I didn't talk to her for long because I'M SO AWFUL ON THE PHONE - just long enough to answer the "are you safe" kinds of questions. She's offered to squeeze me in tomorrow, but one of the ironies of my life at the moment is that i have no time for an emotional crisis. If I can move stuff around enough at work maybe - but I probably can't.

Maybe i should take up the suggestion that I discuss my forbidden topic in a letter. Kind Girl's suggestion that i open up about this later without ever letting her know I was struggling so much with it is actually a suggestion she made to me a few months ago when there seemed to be many forbidden topics. And I've used that tact before. It's a good one. It's so hard for me because I'm so easily embarrassed by most of what I think - at least most of what I think about myself. I'm constantly judging and censoring. Then it all gets to be too much and i put so much pressure on myself to open up in ways that are so totally counter-intuitive.

So I guess the trick is to talk to her about what I'm going through in such a way either that i can come clean about the forbidden topic, or that i can put it aside easily enough so it ceases to interfere with whatever else I can accomplish in therapy.





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