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Re: contemplating termination crushedout

Posted by fallsfall on April 4, 2004, at 10:12:23

In reply to contemplating termination Dinah, posted by crushedout on April 3, 2004, at 22:08:44

> it makes me feel relieved in a way, though, to contemplate it. like, there is a way out, maybe.

Crushed,

This is a really important statement. I was in agony with my old therapist, it felt so completely painful and hopeless that I was seriously suicidal for the first time in my life. I hadn't wanted to leave her "because I couldn't live without her". But given the pain I was in, and the fact that I wasn't sure I was going to live even if I stayed, I considered that leaving her might be an option. It couldn't get worse. As soon as I started contemplating changing therapists I started feeling better (I was still terrified) - I started having some hope, and I could delay the suicidal plan and see what might be ahead in the road for me.

This sounds a lot like your feeling of relief. So I would encourage you to keep considering leaving and talking to her about it.

The whole termination process with my therapist lasted probably 6 weeks or so (and I was very aggressive in interviewing potential therapists) - and the agony lasted probably another month after I changed. But then it was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. It was definately the right move for me.

Listen to your "relief". Know that it will be VERY hard and painful. Follow your gut.

 

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