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Re: I think I made a mistake {{ terrics

Posted by spoc on March 14, 2004, at 11:45:21

In reply to Re: I think I made a mistake spoc, posted by terrics on March 14, 2004, at 10:13:27

Terrics, were you in analysis with the good pdoc or just seeing him for meds? My pdoc takes things in stride too, maybe too much so. It's his lines of questioning and occasional (closed-ended) hypotheses that can easily be seen to be considering only worst-case dx scenarios. When in reality there is every reason to think my problems may have worsened due only to being "developmentally directionless" and able to continue floundering indefinitely. I do unrewarding work at home and am accountable/observable to no one. Socially/personally I show only what I want to show, when I want to show it. I have it all locked up. I don't *have* to change and that's not good for the increasingly lethargic and hopeless. But implementing some structure, goals and positivity with the right T as influence may buouy me up exponentially and I think I owe it to myself to try that first!

Additionally, of all the personality disorders he seems to be entertaining, the one thing he won't take seriously no matter how descriptive I get is that I am, at least as a result of other things, depressed. I am 100% on my own as this "analysis" ensues to figure out how to feel any better and keep it in motion, and that is the last way I wanted to feel when I finally sought help.

But again, I acknowledge that as far as any kind of therapist including pdocs, we can't put them all in a box any more than we want them to put us all in a box. I had spent a lot of $$ shopping around for the right one, and it disheartens me that I was so sure the vibe was right. BUT I did not ask/know that this would end up being psychoanalysis.

> I had a pdoc for 10 yrs. He was just a down to earth guy. He never made a big deal out of anything even on the day I was nearly arrested. That day he just said; 'take an extra klonopin' which worked well. His dx for me was cyclothymia. I was on 2 meds and he never made me feel crazy. Now I am on 5 meds, have a dx of borderline [from one crazy T.]and am going to DBT whether I am 'crazy' or not. I left the good pdoc for ins. reasons. I shouldn't knock DBT though because I think I need it. I think alot of Ts are borderline. terrics


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