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Re: Why do they do this to me?

Posted by Pandabear on February 24, 2004, at 18:43:24

In reply to Re: Why do they do this to me? Pandabear, posted by Crooked Heart on February 22, 2004, at 14:56:03

I went to my session yesterday and my therapist of course wanted to discuss my letter that I had given to her. She went sentence by sentence and basically told me that she isnt against me, she is for me and she is here to help make me better..and she told me that she does like me, she doesnt think im "crazy" and that yes she and my psychiatrist might be keeping certain things from me so that I dont obsess...She also said that she and my psychiatrist are like my "other parents" and that I was afraid to let them see the "real me" for fear that they would reject me..and she said that they have no intention of rejecting me...or judging me and that as a matter of fact they like me a lot...(whew):) I had mentioned to her that I am starting to feel so comfortable with them ..that I am starting to relax and show my real self..and my real self is my obsessive self..and I DONT WANT THEM TO SEE me like this..( i mentioned this in another post) but she responded that..yes this was me at my worst as far as the obsessing goes..but that she would help me through it ..and not to worry about being rejected or liked less because of whatever i decided to share. All in all, it was a good session. I have this problem where after a session....the next day, I feel like I have to talk to, the next day after my session was today and I didnt call her but I really wanted to. I dont know whats up with that but Im getting really sick of it. I am on Seroquel to help with the obsessing but I feel like im being punished by taking it. It literally knocks me out within about an hour and a half of taking it...she told me it was to help me from obsessing and worrying and from feeling like I had to drive around at night when im worried...(which is something I was doing for a while but have stopped)...and I feel like they are thinking "well, lets force her to go to sleep so no one has to deal with her and her obsessing for at least a few hours" ...and deep down I know it isnt really how they least i hope not. She made me list some good things about me so that I dont focus only on the obsessive and dependent sides of me...YET, it is a major side of I told her its hard to focus on other things when this is SO MUCH OF A PART OF ME...but anyway...we will be working more on this at our next session...whew...things just keep rolling along....:)




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poster:Pandabear thread:310266