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Re: Our Right Hemispheres fallsfall

Posted by Pfinstegg on February 8, 2004, at 10:39:54

In reply to Re: Our Right Hemispheres Pfinstegg, posted by fallsfall on February 8, 2004, at 9:44:19

Hi Fallsfall! You raised such a good point about lying down on the couch. In those books, Dr. Shore made a point of saying that he now does psychoanalysis (even 5 days a week) with the patient sitting up facing him. After what I read, I, too, decided to sit up and try to maintain eye-contact with my analyst. In some ways, it is harder than lying on the couch, where you can *escape* the eyes. My analyst is cool with that- very flexible. I told him that I wanted to accomplish the basic trust- what Shore called "earned secure attachment" before I lay down on the couch again. He is very flexible, as I mentioned, but I think he thinks there are some real advantages to the couch- the loosening of one's guard over what one says, the regression towards an earlier (maybe infant) state, where good new interactions can occur between the two of you-verbal and body-language sensing, mostly, but, as he pointed out, also visual, if one turns on one's side towards him, which is perfectly OK to do. He is alongside the head of the couch,not in back of it.

I really can empathize with your intense dependency feelings, as I have them, also, although at present, I often get into a terrified, dazed state where I hardly feel anything, other than wishing to be invisible. I do think that it is best to respect those feelings, and to allow yourself to feel them as fully as possible in his presence. You are entitled to your real feelings, which you are having for such good reasons. The eye contact is so hard- what if you decide their eyes are cold and uncaring? - but perhaps it really is the way towards getting that right hemisphere functioning better.

I hope you'll keep letting us know how things are going for you. I will, too.

Pfinstegg


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