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Re: I think I don't understand sex *at all* Elle2021

Posted by Dinah on February 7, 2004, at 13:35:54

In reply to Re: I think I don't understand sex *at all* Dinah, posted by Elle2021 on February 7, 2004, at 12:21:14

> Okay, I don't know if this applies to you, but sometimes children who have been sexually abused view sex in different terms than people who haven't been sexually abused.

No, I wasn't sexually abused. All my symptoms fit, but I just wasn't.

> > Orgasms are so easy to come by! And great ones too. And you don't need to rely on anyone else to get them.
> Do you enjoy yourself more when sex is with your husband? Could this be part of the schizoid/schizotypal dx? The part where the person prefers solitary activities rather than the idea of activities with another person?

Well, I don't like to be touched, although I don't really mind touching. So I consider myself solosexual. It's not that I prefer *all* my activities to be solitary (tho I do prefer a lot of them to be). And yes, I do think that is one of the things they checked off when they came up with the diagnosis, although I prefer to think of it as traits.
> >And I will admit that the spice of sexual attraction caused me to pay a bit closer attention in class
> I giggled when I read this because I have to admit that in all the classes I have taken, where I was attracted to the teacher, I got really good grades and paid excellent attention... :)

Me too. :) And I did find a lot of my male teachers (and perhaps one or two of my female teachers) attractive. Just not sexually attractive, except for this one.
> >And I view it rather clinically.
> I used to view it very clinically myself, but that was because I was too afraid to make an emotional attachment. Could that be what you are doing too?

I don't think so.... I can be emotionally attached without sexual attraction.
> > What am I not understanding? And why? Is it a physical defect or a psychological one?
> I don't think it's a physical defect (you don't have problems "performing"). Maybe this is one of the posts that you should take to your therapist. I bet he can get to the crux of the matter, which I believe goes way deeper then just the act of sex itself.
We've had more than a few conversations about sex. Mainly about other layers of my sexual dysfunction though, not this one. I know what he'd say if I said I didn't understand desire. He'd say "I know you don't" in a compassionate tone, and wouldn't really consider it worth exploring because it was just a given.




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