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Re: I think I don't understand sex *at all* Dinah

Posted by Elle2021 on February 7, 2004, at 12:21:14

In reply to I think I don't understand sex *at all*, posted by Dinah on February 7, 2004, at 11:38:18

Okay, I don't know if this applies to you, but sometimes children who have been sexually abused view sex in different terms than people who haven't been sexually abused.

> Orgasms are so easy to come by! And great ones too. And you don't need to rely on anyone else to get them.

Do you enjoy yourself more when sex is with your husband? Could this be part of the schizoid/schizotypal dx? The part where the person prefers solitary activities rather than the idea of activities with another person?

> The last person I remember feeling sexually attracted to was a college professor about twenty years ago.
*He wasn't really attractive, but he was smart as all get out,* with a tongue like a rapier, and full of cocky energy.

I agree that intellectual men are much more attractive (even if they aren't particularly cute).

>Sexual attraction clouds the judgement? Does it really? Why?

I think some people *allow* sexual attraction to cloud their judgement. I don't. I can recognize that I'm attracted to someone without losing all sense of responsiblity.

>And I will admit that the spice of sexual attraction caused me to pay a bit closer attention in class

I giggled when I read this because I have to admit that in all the classes I have taken, where I was attracted to the teacher, I got really good grades and paid excellent attention... :)

>And I view it rather clinically.

I used to view it very clinically myself, but that was because I was too afraid to make an emotional attachment. Could that be what you are doing too?

> What am I not understanding? And why? Is it a physical defect or a psychological one?

I don't think it's a physical defect (you don't have problems "performing"). Maybe this is one of the posts that you should take to your therapist. I bet he can get to the crux of the matter, which I believe goes way deeper then just the act of sex itself.

Or...I could be totally off base here. You gotta let me know.

Elle


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