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Re: I spoke about this board today DaisyM

Posted by Dinah on February 6, 2004, at 19:05:28

In reply to Re: I spoke about this board today Dinah, posted by DaisyM on February 6, 2004, at 17:00:34

> <<<<I have a friend who is a retired Therapist and she thinks the same thing. When I talk about fears of abandonment or being overly dependent, she always asks, "and how much time did that take away from the "real" issue?" I agree with you though. It is part of the issue, because if you can't establish trust how could you ever get to any "real" issues

In my case, my inability to trust *is* a central issue, in and out of therapy. It took me five years to get to even start obessing about losing him because it took me that long to trust him enough to start admitting any concern. Then it took me another three years to get past the fear of trusting, because he might abandon me. :) The rest of my life is the same. I'm afraid to do anything for fear of losing what I gain. How he can say that isn't therapeutic work! (shakes head wonderingly) I'm quite wrung out just thinking about it.

> I hope you know you are special - both to your Therapist and to us here. You Therapist must think so after all this time. Emotional engagement is not something I've thought about a lot because I just expect it. And then worry about it!
Your therapist seems very emotionally engaged. Mine doesn't. The pdoc from H*ll (standard disclaimer, I'm sure he isn't actually from H*ll) told me once that he was a bad therapist match for me because he stays too much in his head. Of course, said pdoc scared the living daylights out of me. I only get very very brief glimpses of emotional engagement. Other than anger, which isn't really what I'm aiming for.




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