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question Fallen4myT

Posted by crushedout on February 6, 2004, at 16:57:35

In reply to Re: I got my wish crushedout, posted by Fallen4myT on February 6, 2004, at 13:11:11

This made me feel so much better. I worry that it means I'll keep hoping and keep getting depressed when my hopes get dashed (by things she says). I have to be careful.

One of the things I'm hoping her admission will help me with is opening up to her even more than I already have. Like about my fantasies about her, etc., to begin with. So, here's my question: Do I share with her this dim hope that we actually can be lovers maybe possibly one day? I dunno. I think it will be hard for me to do, because I'll want to protect one last little shred of my fantasy from being destroyed, but maybe that's the very reason I should do it. But then that kind of means we're wrong, Fallen, to want to hang onto this hope. I dunno. I need it so bad. It keeps me alive.

What do you think? Should I talk to her about it, or just cherish it?


> Anytime, and I really mean it. I may be crusified by others for my view on it but hey, you didn't ever think she would say she was attracted I bet..and she was soooo :) hope is there and we both know there HAS to be a net so we know to look and be open for others but hey I love that hope and need it too :) And for what it's worth I have written off things only to have them come true. BEST to stay safe in its a dim hope as we said but come on...there IS hope and I for one and happy for you..Wish I could ASK my T and get that answer in words not just deeds
>
> > Thank you so much, Fallen, for saying this. In the way that you did. Of course, there is always that tiny hope, because nothing is impossible, right? Anything can happen in this crazy world. And it's not even impossible that if it did happen, it wouldn't be a disaster. Although these are very unlikely outcomes, so you're right that I need to stay open to other things, and not let that hope override everything else. But if it keeps me going, why give it up entirely? I see no point. Even if she *says* it can never happen, that doesn't mean it can't. Someday, a long way down the road. If we both still want it at that point.
> >
> > Like I said, this is getting far-fetched, but the point is it's not impossible. Anyway, thanks. It's good not to lose hope, as long as it's kept in perspective.
> >
> >
> > > Oh and I wanted to add though it may be dim. I think there is still a tiny bit of hope even with her..maybe. Don't give up on it , give it time, work the therapy part of it and keep your eyes and heart open to other loving people
> >
> >
>
>


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poster:crushedout thread:309823
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040206/msgs/310253.html