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Yep. I'm familiar with La Doux Dinah

Posted by 64Bowtie on February 6, 2004, at 2:13:53

In reply to Re: Re: Question for gg. (w/trepidation) 64Bowtie, posted by Dinah on February 5, 2004, at 17:33:03


He is a great resource for left-brain brain studies. In fact I quote his research sometimes, for certain audiences.

We seem to be more interested in the mind/brain nexus and the messy stuff at Babble. When I jibber-jabber with abstractions, I miss y'alls as an audience. I wish you could see me pointing at the wall like it was a blackboard full of diagrams everytime I post.

I still don't have it right. Sometimes its timing. Sometimes its reader attention span (and yawning at my boring delivery).

I assure you I have seen this stuff work over and over again. We are equipped with the goodies to make it all ok and right.

Eric Berne of "Transactional Analysis" fame, had at least one thing right as I see it. "We were all born princes and princesses. Along the way our families turned us all into FROGS. Its our job to find a way to turn ourselves back into royalty. We have the tools so we need to learn how to use them."

Its sad that what I am proposing sounds toooo darned simple to be right:
1. That we were all born with enough tools to restore ourselves to balance and harmony.
2. That if I have a tooth ache, you can't feel it.
3. That if I look at myself out-of-body across the room, I know I have a tooth ache but I can't feel it from my vantage point across the room.
4. That if I resign my reactions to "problems" to my "gut", as an adult, my life will remain messy. Feeling a solution lacks a plan.
5. That when I see what I want clearly in my mind's eye, I can only then make goals, and plans to achieve them. I can't feel a goal.
6. That my level of dysfunction can be measured by the numbers and severity of my bad habits that result in my unresolved-internal-conflicts.
7. That the fear of danger, which worked fine in my childhood, was wisely replaced by respect-for-the-same-danger, in my adulthood, providing me with optional results, at my choice.
8. That I successfully replaced avoidance-of-the-new, with curiosity and discovery of the new.
9. That I have found my personal power to be my ability to make a difference, and my strength to be my ability to withstand.
10. That my life was governed by my level of the near-slavery nature of obligation, which I updated and replaced with love, respect, acceptance, and responsibility, all working in concert.
11. That beliefs are only a tool, and not ever an end or a goal.
12. That I recognize when someone else is indentured to an opinion as if it were reality instead of only the "story" that it is.
13. When I speak to the only guy in my mirror, there is only one voice, mine.
14. When I seek beautiful outcomes, that's all that will happen for me. What "Happens to me" is beyond my control, so wisdom says don't worry if it hasn't happened.
15. that if I see past events in black and white, the represent onresolved childhood issues.
16. That my misplaced arrogance about folks not liking our family because we were so poor, kept people from liking me.
17. Indecision blocks curiosity locking me into continuation of multigenerational multilayer dysfunction.
18. That "who I am" is never measured by "what I do(did)". If "what I did" was a bad thing, I am still me, and I can make amends and promise never to transgress again. My bad behavior is simply that, bad behavior. I remain "me", no matter what....
19. Violence and coercion used as conflict resolution strategies in adulthood, are leftovers of inappropriate parenting from childhood. The residue of poor conflict management strategies is a messy adulthood.
20. Holding onto the illusion that we can't change "what we do(did)" without changing "Who we are" and thus must be avoided, locks folks into continuous conflict with reality. Continuous strife and struggle is not a "life".





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