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Re: I got my wish

Posted by crushedout on February 5, 2004, at 22:32:33

In reply to Re: I got my wish, posted by Miss Honeychurch on February 5, 2004, at 22:14:29

Well, Miss Honey, I definitely think you're wrong about Number 2. First of all, I never assumed she was straight. She could be bi. We never discussed her orientation. And I have "recruited" plenty of "straight" women in my life so that's no longer a big thrill for me. Also, I'm totally thrilled, if I really let it sink in, that she's attracted to me. There's no let-down there (except the one when I realize we can't act on it). I'm thrilled because she's my ideal woman, and she's so cool, and beautiful, and successful, and older, and she's attracted to ME. I don't take that for granted. It's very exciting. (Even though I just sounded all full of myself for recruiting straight women so this sounds like a contradiction. But she's really SPECIAL.) There's also an even bigger challenge here: getting her to actually sleep with me. So if there's any thrill of the chase going on here, the chase is far from over. When I actually bed her, THEN maybe I will be depressed about that. (Just kidding. Sort of.)

As for your Theory Number One, it doesn't strike me as true, but I don't rule it out. I don't think so, though, no. I don't feel betrayed. How is that a betrayal? It's honesty, which I appreciate very much. I usually think it can only help.

> I'm wondering if maybe you are feeling a little depressed because you unconsciously know that she may have crossed a boundary that you may have told yourself that you wanted her to cross, but know unconsciously that that boundary should stay in tact? Does this make sense? While it is flattering to know she finds you attractive, maybe subconsciously you know that the most helpful realtionship for you is one of "Dr. and Patients" as it were. Perhaps you could feel somewhat betrayed by her admission? Am I making any sense, I feel I am not.
> ANother thing I've been thinking about and I could be completely out of line: Maybe you are feeling depressed because the thrill of the chase may be over by her admission. Was it exciting to you to maybe think that you could get a heterosexual woman to admit her attraction to you? And now that she has admitted her attraction, is the chase over? So many times the fantasy is much more wonderful than the reality. Sometimes I think that there is no way a person could be 100% gay, just like I think it is rare to be 100% heterosexual. I have sometimes tried to convince a gay man, who I think has some attraction for women, to at least admit a desire sometimes for women. I will admit that there are times when I feel desire for a woman, although that is not my dominant proclivity. I just wonder if getting her to admit a possibility of "batting for the other team" as it were was a challenge to you, and now that you have been successful, you feel somewhat let down.
> Just my awful psychology. Any thoughts?




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