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Re: I ask myself... KindGirl

Posted by 64Bowtie on February 4, 2004, at 13:36:02

In reply to ?tion to same-sex therapist...HELP!!!, posted by KindGirl on February 4, 2004, at 9:24:07


I ask myself if continueing is scarier, or if changing and having to start all over again is worse. Comfort seeking can be illusionary. I focus on why and what I am doing in any endeavor. I now seem to get more done when not seeking comfort.

I have found that therapists "worth-their-salt" do good boundary management. Bad therapists, who still need alot of work themselves, can re-enact the enmeshment of their childhood.

Enmeshment is total "fuzzy" boundaries, where you don't know where you end and the other person begins. Co-dependency is earmarked by enmeshment. They can screw-up clients in many and new ways, adding more layers to client issues and problems, further extending therapy needs.

Early in my teenage working life, I was trained by a boss with "Shop-Keeper" sayings, like "First, get the money!" Another that has echoed at my moments of weakness, "Don't 'date' the help!" Meaning for me in this latter day that I should keep my cotton-picking hands off co-workers and the (clients) customers. I can hear his words, "Nothing sadder than seeing a guy wasting my (company) time following a customer around, with a "bulge" in his pants!"

Truly, your same sex therapist doesn't sound inclined to get a "bulge" for clients. I am only contrasting a bad therapist in hopes you can look for and find the true goodness in your therapist.

I didn't talk about myself as entertainment or self-deprecation. I said what works for me.





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