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re: dealing with connubial complexities

Posted by lil' jimi on September 9, 2003, at 14:02:05

In reply to re: dealing with Delusional Disorder lil' jimi, posted by habbyshabit on September 9, 2003, at 6:22:26

hi Habby,

my note to you was my ramblin' disconnected desperation sort of way to try to offer you a sense of the dimension of my love for you in your plight ...
... ... without any better means to relate to your situation, or even anything to offer as an approach, i just ... ... poured my heart out to you ... along with any of my experiences that might reflect on my small understanding of the neuroscience delusions ... ...

you wrote:
> If the delusion where to ever move towards that story line, that I'm cheating on him, I don't know if there are any stratagies that would prevent the disolution of the marriage, though of course I would try. That thought sits in the back of my mind and robs me of any sense of security and settledness a marriage this loving should have. >

you have my support ... always ... but in this potential circumstance, in particular, you have touched the linchpin which you recognize poses a threat to you marriage ... and i do understand this ... ... if his condition turns corrosive against the bonds of trust necessary for a marriage, you would be left with very little recourse ... ... an excruciating consideration to weigh upon you while having to deal with the current "intrigues"' own devastating effects, which are undermining the martrimonial benefits of trust, love, safety and confidence ... ... your choices would be extremely difficult and i respect your decision(s), come what may ... ...

i say these things to emphasize your need(s) for much more support ... you need your own personal 'mental-space' space, significantly free from the "world o' mister habbbyshabit and his dream circus" ... ... you _need_ your therapeutic privacy ... ... you are appraoching "bunker menality", what with having to hide out from his regime ... ... ...
.. ... .. which is not good ... ... now, of course, you know all this ... i am only offering that one more person knows this ... ... you need an army of supporters who all know this ... ... ... especially in the event he never knows this in this lifetime ...

... sylvia suggested you contacting your doctor via e-mail ... ... it is gratifying to me that we are making progress in this direction ... ... and that you have been able to emphasize your needs in this situation, separate and apart from other's needs ...

there was a book (here comes another attempt at amazon links), which i have not read, called
"The Three Christs of Ypsilanti",
... this was recommended in my abnormal psychology class decades ago ... ... i understand that it conveys the case studies of 3 patients with messianic delusions ... ... the researchers then put all three together in hopes that they would disabuse each other of their delusions by experiencing their parallel fantasies ... ... ... as you can guess this turned out to not be thrapeutically effective ... ... at all ... ... but it served to demonstrate to us the power delusions can have ...

all the while, i think of the cosmic delusion, that this is the only reality, that all sentient beings endure .... .... and that we'd only want a better version of that delusion for your husband ...

please know and believe that i am patient for you to reply at your convenience and i will be understanding of your oppressive circumstances ... ... and i will respond when i get a chance too

~ jim




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