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Re: parental invalidation Reva

Posted by fallsfall on September 4, 2003, at 21:52:59

In reply to Re: parental invalidation fallsfall, posted by Reva on September 4, 2003, at 10:18:53

Your family of origin does sound like there are some significant problems. I'm sorry that you had to grow up (and be a grown up) that way.

I guess that I would hope that you would ask yourself two questions:

1. Is there any chance (or is there a reasonable chance), that if I confront my parents and tell them how they have hurt me and continue to hurt me, that my parents will understand, care, and have the skill to change their behavior towards me?

2. If I tell my parents how they have hurt me and continue to hurt me will that make me feel enough better so that if they *don't* change their behavior I will still be better off than I am now?

2.5. If it does make me feel better, then does the guilt I feel over their feelings at hearing what I have to say over shadow my better feelings? In other words, is it worth it?

Since I'm not done with my own work yet, I can't show you that NOT confronting the parents can work, too. But I believe (at least for me) that it can.

I would be interested in hearing about your therapy experiences. It sounds like they weren't very helpful to you.

[As I read this it sounds like gobledygook, but I can't figure out how to fix the sentences. If it makes no sense, please say so and maybe tomorrow my brain will work better]




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