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Re: Grief. kara lynne

Posted by fallsfall on September 3, 2003, at 22:07:29

In reply to Re: Grief./ Dinah, posted by kara lynne on September 3, 2003, at 14:49:10

Kara,

I'm so sorry that you are so sad. (((((Kara)))))

I was in my mid-20s when the need to have a baby hit me. I was married, soon to buy a house. I didn't want to wait, but I knew that I should put in a couple of years in my new career (I was just finishing my BA). I was in agony trying to decide whether to work or get pregnant. Agony.

Your situation is more difficult and complicated. I can't imagine living through that. It is so hard to look at the choices that we have when the emotions run so high.

45 minutes isn't very long. It's very short. Sometimes I have found that journalling on a subject helps me to clarify what the issues are and how I feel about them. I don't really come to a conclusion most of the time, but at least I am clearer on the issues. Something like this might help you make more efficient use of your session time. [This technique does reduce spontaneity, but it really helps me feel less panicked because things are out of control.]

The idea of talking with other people has a lot of merit. There have been times when I've had questions like "How does everybody else do ...?". Take a survey. Think of all of the people you know who would have a valid opinion, and ask them. It amazed me how differently people saw the same issue. It gave me an idea of what the range of solutions could be, and also what some of the pros and cons were. People were almost always honored to be asked.

Search on the internet for papers, boards, or whatever that are relevant. I usually think that the more information I have about something the better my decision will be. After a while, though, everything sounds the same and it gets boring. That's when you can stop.

Can you ask for another session? Yes. Of course. The worst that will happen is that he will say no. And that's no worse than where you are now.

The grief is strong because this is important. And you will make the right decision for you.

 

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