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Re: Grief. kara lynne

Posted by Penny on September 3, 2003, at 7:41:42

In reply to Grief., posted by kara lynne on September 2, 2003, at 21:34:23

Hi Kara Lynne.

I was having trouble wrapping things up in therapy in the 45 minute allotment, so I told my therapist that I needed to end the session on an 'up' note. At the end of the session, if it's a difficult one, we stop about 5 minutes early and try to tie together some loose ends, so I'm not left with the gaping wound to head out into the world.

Another thought - would it help for you to just talk briefly to your T instead of going to see him for an entire session? Sometimes a 5-10 minute phone call from my T is all I need to refocus and get grounded again.

At the same time, there's absolutely nothing wrong with asking for another appointment. My current therapist sees me 2 times a week, though my former therapist only saw me once a week, even when I felt like I needed more sessions. Probably an insurance thing in that case, though.

As for the baby thing - I'm sure others have mentioned it before - but have you thought about adoption? At this point in my life, I'm not sure I will ever meet the 'right' person to have my family with, so I'm planning to look at alternative ways of having children when the time comes. We can't force circumstances - it's not your fault that you haven't found the right relationship with someone you would want to have a baby with, and perhaps you haven't been in a secure enough place emotionally yet to have a child. But that doesn't mean you can never have children.

I used to think that I would never feel fulfilled unless I had my husband, 2.5 kids and the little house with a picket fence - but now I know that sometimes things don't work out the way we might initially want them to, but you have to try to look at it as maybe there's a reason. (Mind you, I'm not religious, but do, on my better days, feel like there is a purpose to all of this that we are going through.) Perhaps there is some little child, maybe not even born yet, who is destined to have you as his or her mother. Perhaps with your life experiences and the strength you've gained through your trials, you will be able to be a better mother than you ever thought possible, just not perhaps in the way you originally imagined.

I apologize if I've overstepped my boundaries on this one. It just sounds like you're in a lot of pain over this, and I hope you can forgive yourself for things not working out the way you would've liked.

Best to you.
P


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poster:Penny thread:256479
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030814/msgs/256588.html