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Re: Why bother with therapy? stebby

Posted by allisonf on August 22, 2003, at 9:15:19

In reply to Re: Why bother with therapy? allisonf, posted by stebby on August 19, 2003, at 20:03:55

I can totally imagine feeling devastated by leaving your old therapist and still having the transference feelings for her. But I'm glad your new therapist is confident that she can handle the transference (and even said she was waiting for it to happen, right?) Did something specific happen in therapy recently that made you want to stop and just take the ADs? (I know...for me, not much has to happen. Once I had heard her spray perfume on herself while I was in the waiting room, then when I walked it, it was lingering in the air. Did she put on the perfume for my benefit? AS IF!)

Or is it related to the issues with your husband? With this...oh, I wish I had something more helpful to say, but I find I am often in the same sticky sort of situation. My husband is definitely jealous of my feelings for my therp, but I think b/c my therp is a woman, he is a little less threatened (tho he knows there is a sexual element, we don't talk about it much). Then again, I also don't think he realizes quite how deep my feelings for her go. He will tease me about it sometimes but then other times, he pressures me towards termination b/c he's afraid it's not helping me to be so obsessed with her. And there are times like you, I agree with him...if I spend a whole week with my head in the clouds over the perfume incident, how can that be helping me? I guess that's what forces me to be really upfront with my therapist about these situations when they happen so at least I can try to learn from them. But then again, just like you said, some of the situations are really too mortifying to disclose. Mostly, I think it's when my husband sees that I'm having such a hard time during an episode of some kind, and he experiences her helping me thru it (tho I know he's jealous that he's not as good at helping me thru it as she is) that he eases up on wanting me to quit. I think he also gets the theoretical concept of transference...but then again, I told him about a dream I had about my therp recently and he freaked. "You're dreaming about your therapist!" I didn't have the heart to tell him that I dream about her quite a bit.

It does seem like your husband has been trying to process a lot at once lately. I know it took my husband a *long* time to accept the use of psych meds to treat my condition (me too). And the cutting too, I know my husband gets really frightened by my suicidal thoughts or anytime I envision hurting myself. I think it is just such a foreign concept for him.

So, I feel for you about this issue and how it affects your marriage. I always end up opting to stick with the therapy (mostly b/c I'm too chicken to leave) but there are times I think I may be worse off for it.

Let us know...




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poster:allisonf thread:251041