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Could anyone please give me some advice?

Posted by galkeepinon on August 22, 2003, at 0:27:05

Hi, In the midst of posting over at PB, I thought I would post here tonight about a situation I am dealing with and I could use anyone's opinion/guidance and/or thoughts, please, if possible.
I have been friends with a person since 1988, my first roomate in college. As the years went on, we grew apart, then came back in contact about 4 years later and the friendship has been a good one since. However, we are several miles apart, but correspond through email, and I have invited her to visit me several times and she has. Not once, not once has she ever invited me to her place. I have always been there for her, eben though I have been let down example~~her cancelling alot for reasons I understood, asking her how she is, being a good friend (and I have!)
My problem: I received a very, what I thought was a 'put-down', condemning email from her regarding some feelings I was having about how she seemed to be distant since I have told her about a hospital stay, depression, etc. (she knows about my illness). It seems like she always wants to only hear from me when something is positive but when I tell her my true feelings, if they're sad or whatever, she gets defensive. She wrote in her email some things that took me by surprise that I'm not sure how to handle. My usual, and always normal response is to IMMEDIATELY fight back with harsh words and attack, BUT, I haven't. I don't know why. I know this is a good thing, but I am sad. She ended her email by saying, "if this isn't acceptable to you, then maybe I'm not the kind of friend you want"--which was to me, a real dig, especially since we've been frinds for so long. I don't know what to do. I'm wondering if that is a *polite* way of saying she is sick of dealing with me as a friend who is *mental* or she cares but doesn't know what to do?
So, as of tonight, I haven't emailed her back, or anything. I am a spiritual person and have *turned it over* many times, and am trying to just see what happens, I guess. I just feel so confused, and I am really worried that this friendship will be over if I don't respond.
Do any of you think I should respond? Should I just let *time heal*? I don't know, and would really like to hear what any of you think.
It would be so much appreciated.
Thank you, galkeepinon




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