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Re: Why bother with therapy? stebby

Posted by Dinah on August 15, 2003, at 11:34:58

In reply to Why bother with therapy?, posted by stebby on August 15, 2003, at 11:00:07

It's been my experience that the transference feelings get a lot less painful when they're experienced and accepted. If you find that's true for you, and you don't find therapy otherwise helpful, you might be able to terminate at that point.

I know it feels that way about our therapists feelings sometimes. And it's certainly true (or should be) that they don't lie awake nights thinking about us. But I kind of think of them as teachers. They have a lot of students, while students have just a few teachers. But that doesn't mean they don't care about the students (unless they're totally burned out).

I do think a big part of finding our feelings less painful is to come to know and accept the limits of the therapeutic relationship. But really, it's a pretty cool relationship when you think about it. You can't come to therapy and have your therapist say she doesn't feel up to discussing your problems today. Your therapist isn't (or shouldn't) yell at you when they've had a bad day or when you've hurt their feelings. They're supposed to be there for you as long as you need them. Sure, it's just an hour or two a week, but if it were more often than that, they probably wouldn't be able to keep up the consistent positive regard. (grin) So I've come to terms with the limits, and decided they suit me just fine.

 

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poster:Dinah thread:251041
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030814/msgs/251054.html