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to fallsfall, noa, and how to deal with friend?

Posted by kalyb on May 25, 2003, at 15:44:48

In reply to Re: Toxic friendships revisited?, posted by noa on May 21, 2003, at 17:09:24

Thanks for your input, fallsfall & noa.

Some days it really gets to me - other days it doesn't! The last few days I've felt a bit better, maybe the Effexor is starting to kick in. It reduced my anxiety almost immediately but seems to be taking longer for the AD effects to start. Although I do feel rather emotionless - which isn't really a bad thing. It's refreshing not to feel things so deeply for a change, and I still do feel some things, just more comfortably than before. Things seem a bit more balanced than they were.

Or maybe I'm just premenstrual.... weird thing is I've always noticed I have a brighter mood, can wake up at a "normal" hour in the morning and have sharper, clearer thinking just before my period is due!! Any other girls notice this??

And I feel partially vindicated re the friend/landlady. A couple of days ago, she commented that she wished her partner would take more interest in and do more to look after their newborn baby. "But," she said, "every time I try to show him how to do something like change a nappy [diaper] he says he feels like I'm criticising him...."

Phew. Then that really *is* a fault in HER character, not mine!!! since that's exactly how she makes me feel too. Constantly. And it is SOOOOOOOO infuriating that it's all I can do to stop myself just throwing my arms up and stomping out sometimes - despite the Effexor!! She and her partner appear to have their very own roles, tasks and routines and rarely encroach into the other's areas/jobs, so that might just be because of her imperious and condescending manner when trying to instruct someone else. I really don't like being spoken to as if I was a teenager. In fact I reckon if you spoke to a teenager like that, it'd probably scar for life.....!

What is the best way to respond to this behaviour of hers? How should I handle it? The only person I've known before who behaved like this to me was my father, but then I had to put up & shut up or risk enraging him with the possibility I'd suffer physical abuse. I would probably enrage her too if I did anything but put up with it, but I'm no longer a child, I have some rights, and I really don't know the best way of dealing with this.

Anyway, thanks for the idea about looking on Uni noticeboards, noa... I do think I might pass on that because my compromise to live with others was not freely or joyously made, and I instinctively *know* that I will be happier living on my own, whatever it may take to achieve it.

Kalyb xx




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