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Re: Mortification mair

Posted by Dinah on May 14, 2003, at 17:02:12

In reply to Mortification, posted by mair on May 13, 2003, at 15:33:42

Oh, I do know what you mean, Mair. I get mortified in therapy more times than I wish to recall.

I can assure you that your therapist isn't wishing you elsewhere. She knows that it's the material that's coming up that is making it difficult for you to find the words to discuss it. She won't mind that at all. Mair, you should see the annoying therapy clients therapists get (myself included). I'm sure she doesn't consider you one. Of course, I'm sure you know that intellectually.

Have you tried talking about how you can't talk at those times? About how you're worried that she's fed up with you, or wishes you elsewhere? In my experience, talking about that lessens the shame. Oddly, becoming more vulnerable makes me feel less ashamed. And then it can lessen the anxiety enough to ease into the thing you were afraid to discuss.

This actually happened to me yesterday. I was in an emotional state, and could only think of one way to say something. That way wasn't all that coherent, and he was asking me to rephrase it, and I just couldn't. I couldn't think of different words. But because of all the conversations we've had about the process of what happens, and how he feels when it happens, and how I feel, I had the confidence in him to focus and stumble through it, with only a few objections to him over his impatience. And it does take trust and confidence, I think.

Please don't skip. Go and talk about it. I find that those times I don't want to go are generally my most productive sessions, if I'm willing to be honest about why I didn't want to be there.

 

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poster:Dinah thread:226377
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030407/msgs/226621.html