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Re: Forever therapy allisonf

Posted by Dinah on April 28, 2003, at 12:22:41

In reply to Re: Forever therapy Dinah, posted by allisonf on April 27, 2003, at 21:50:38

That makes perfect sense to me. In fact, pragmatist that I am, it sounds wonderfully adaptive and clever of you. If you have problems with developing attachments to people during your hypomanic phases, diverting that attention to your therapist is safe, she understands it, and overall it is far better than the alternatives. It may not be the perfect long term solution, but until your meds take care of the hypomania or until you are able to put to rest that recurring theme, I think you should congratulate yourself.

If particular things that disturb therapy like the bracelet come up, you can discuss them with her. Did you ever talk to her about how her self-disclosure makes you feel? I don't think that my therapist's makes me feel special in any way. I rather suspect he self discloses the same way with everyone. And in his openness he manages to discourage any thoughts about specialness. The things he says sometimes!! It's a good thing I have a sense of humor about it.

I don't know what his theoretical orientation is. I think whenever I ask he says something like eclectic. I know he was very CBT oriented when I first went to see him, but he adjusted his style to the fact that CBT was not going to be really worthwhile to me straight up. He slips it in, but he doesn't push it. I think he's mentioned a few times that his goal is now providing a "good-enough" parenting experience for me. Teaching me that anger or being bad doesn't lead to rejection. That sort of thing.

I'm not really sure that I know why I learned to trust him after 5 years. It was an ah-hah experience. I had just come out of a meltdown where I was what I considered to be exceptionally annoying towards him. It suddenly occurred to me that he always treated me professionally and respectfully no matter how many times I quit therapy or called him hysterically or whatever. And I also realized that like it or not, I was attached. All I was accomplishing by denying it was a lot of turmoil. The deed was done, I might as well accept it. And he was safe (or as safe as any paid professional can be) to trust. I don't know really. I've had a few moments like that in my relationship with my husband. One where I realized that we actually were good together, and that all the differences I railed against were pretty minor in comparison to other people. I just didn't have anything to compare against. Again when I decided it was time to set a ring and a date. It was just a sudden shift in perspective. Same thing. Actually, I had those same sudden shifts with my parents too (in a negative direction), so it must be a personal relationship characteristic of mine. Hmmmm.... Interesting. :)

 

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poster:Dinah thread:220332
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