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Re: To those with therapists....

Posted by mair on April 2, 2003, at 19:39:56

In reply to To those with therapists...., posted by Dinah on April 2, 2003, at 18:26:19

I haven't been in your precise situation but I used to be very reticent to complain about my father (very fertile ground for analysis) because I knew my own therapist's father was dead. It wasn't in the immediate past, but I used to imagine that she was thinking to herself how much worse it is to have no father at all than to have one you complain about.

At some point and in some stumbling way this came out. She assured me that she felt it essential for a therapist not to bring his or her own problems into a patient's therapy - but to address them in some other way, like with their own therapist, for instance. I guess I believe her but I know it's pretty impossible not to think that these therapists are not affected by whatever else is going on in their lives.

Think of it this way - if you or I faced a similar situation (with on of our own parents), we'd just have to work that much harder to make sure that our sadness over that wasn't impacting one of our clients. I'm not sure it's that different with your therapist. I think it's ok to acknowledge your feelings about what he's going through, but I'm sure he wouldn't want this to alter what you choose to discuss in your sessions.





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