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Re: CBT - and me- - a query PuraVida

Posted by Dinah on March 14, 2003, at 4:06:19

In reply to Re: CBT - and me- - a query, posted by PuraVida on March 13, 2003, at 0:09:11

I just wrote a long post in reply, but erased it because I realized I was doing a lot of projecting. :)

Do I hear you correctly in that you are saying that you get trapped in *shoulds*? That this has ceased to be enjoyable for you, but you feel compelled to stick it out because you *should*?

If I heard you correctly, wouldn't CBT require that you break down the *shoulds* and reality check them?

Some possibilities:

*Should* you stay on because, darn it, you're no quitter. You *should* be strong and not let them drive you away. But you're ending up doing something you don't enjoy because you're being held hostage by *shoulds*. It would be a sign of strength to walk away.

*Should* you stay because you think you can do some good? You're the only one who stands up to these people and who will do it if you don't? It's a worthwile endeavor and you *should* do good without regard to whether or not you're enjoying it. But are you using your energy wisely? Should your strength be saved for other battles? Some people relish the politics yet manage to accomplish good things anyway. Maybe that sort of person should be on the board.

*Should* you stay because this is the way the world is and you have to learn to deal with it? Is this really the way the world is, or is this just the way this group is? Is it possible to get along well in life without learning to deal with the sharks? (I don't actually know the answer to that one. I've sort of constructed a world with minimal contact with sharks. But that sort of world wouldn't suit everyone.)

Of course, your issue in this might not be a *should* issue at all. I'm trying to remember my CBT. There are shoulds and catastrophic thinking. What are some of the others?

 

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poster:Dinah thread:208554
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030310/msgs/208987.html