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Sexual harrassment/abuse/humour

Posted by sid on May 21, 2002, at 18:38:04

Hello all -
well, I'm dealing with my last therapy-like devil: sexual harrassment. As many read before, I have been harrassed/abused by many men when I was youger (a minor), but mostly by my brother in law (BOL). Other people I have lost track of, thankfully. I'm still stuck with the BOL and, even though he tries to behave, he has relapses.
Now, I want to tell my sister that I'm available for her and her kids, but him, I don't want to meet again. He started saying and doing inappropriate things to me when I was 8 (he was 28), and even though what he says now, he says as "jokes," the impact of it runs deep. Plus, it's really not funny, and he tries to justify it all the same way pedophiles do: he wants to see me more balanced. Since I don't have a boyfriend, he provides the sexual entertainment or something like that. He literally said he was behaving like this for my own balance (mental health), when my sister - his wife - gave him a hard time for behaving inappropriately, last Sunday. I left the house otherwise I would have lost my cool.

Anyway, I'm obviously still very much influenced by all this - I don't have a boyfriend and I don't want one. In part because I am a loner and I can stand on my own without a problem - I don't NEED a man in my life, and I'm quite proud of that too. However, I might want one, if I were not so disgusted due to my past experiences and the current harrassment that continues. So here's my question: What should I do abbout this?

- Tell my sister and that's it?
- Tell my sister and go back to psychotherapy to, once and for all, clear this issue with myself?
- Tell my sister and see a sex therapist about this?

I am embarrassed to discuss all this, I must say. It's incredibly crass and just so darn embarrassing. When I think back of the things he says and does, I can't believe it's true - I tend to censore myself anf think "it can't be." But it be. I've been affected by it for too long to let it continue, and I want to feel clear of all that. I don't know what to do for that to happen though. Your own experiences and insights would be greatly appreciated!

- sid




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