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Re: I Will Find a Way to Live bookgurl99

Posted by Mark H. on July 2, 2002, at 1:04:08

In reply to Thanks all for posting. I will find a way to live. Mark H., posted by bookgurl99 on July 2, 2002, at 0:32:03

I wish you could read your extremely intelligent, compelling, honest, thoughtful and very well written reply through my eyes. You are still very much gifted, dear Bookgurl, exquisitely so.

You may be spot-on about the Hashimoto's encephalopathy, or you may be experiencing the violence of full-blown depression, which also causes catastrophic declines in intellectual acumen, memory, confidence, speech -- everything! When I was your age, people would sometimes think I was stoned because my speech was slurred and I (the normally outgoing garrulous clown) would become so clumsy and stupid and self-conscious that I wanted to hide under the table. I cannot COUNT the number of nights in my life of 52 years that I lay awake crying uncontrollably and asking "What's WRONG with me?" Depression can rob you of the ability to read, to concentrate, to remember what you did 15 minutes ago (and forget last week or last month). It is a disease as serious and as dangerous as the organic possibilities you mentioned. Whatever the cause, it has absolutely NOTHING to do with your sexual orientation! Your parents sound like they're stuck in the early 1960s.

I admire your courage and willingness to find a way to live, whatever problems you have with your health. I admire your perseverance in seeking out every possible medical explanation for what you are experiencing. You are fortunate to have a supportive partner. There are many ways to be gifted. You are so much more than just a smart person, Bookgurl.

Mark H.




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