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Re: great vent! terra miller

Posted by InsomniaMom on June 20, 2002, at 15:55:08

In reply to great vent! InsomniaMom, posted by terra miller on June 16, 2002, at 14:08:10

Thanks for listening, Terra. I know a lot of what you have said is true, but tough to do. Especially what you said about doing what I need to do without fear of what others may think. I believe all my aunts and uncles think I'm terrible for not rearranging my life and causing problems in my marriage to take my mother in. It would be different if she had a fatal disease and needed hospice type care, but if I took her in now just because she doesn't like living alone she could be taking advantage of me for another 10-15 years and we have other plans than to stay here!

In the meantime, my mother says she is not better, but sounds much more alert. I think the medication and/or therapy she is getting in the hospital is doing more for her than she is willing to admit. She wants a magic pill and is thinking of ECT, but I don't think she really needs it. She has begun to consider making some changes which will be good for her. I think some illusions have been shattered, especially the one about me as the devoted, selfless daughter. You suggested I not vent to her, but I had already done that in a way when I blew up at the social worker. She was in the room, but I don't know how much she understood of what I was saying. Since then I have talked to her about how guilty I feel when she says certain things, but I told her I know she doesn't do it on purpose (a lie to spare her more pain), though I know she uses it as manipulation. She would always introduce me as her "rock". I don't think that will be happening anymore. For some irrational reason I feel sadness mixed with relief.

Thanks again and peace to you.




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