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self-destructive behaviours, please read!

Posted by turalizz on June 16, 2002, at 17:39:18


I was thinking about my "impulsive" behaviors, and figured out something: Beyond being impulsive they are most likely compulsive, and severely self-destructive in nature.
I remember several times, I was very ill (caught a cold or something...) and I couldn't help smoking over and over all night. I coughed, was cold and dizzy, but could not help smoking until I became so ill that I had to stay in bed for two - three days.

..And the most frequent one; overspending. It seems under control now, but comes and goes from time to time: If I spend a lot, that I do not seem to make it to the end of the month; I tend to spend more. The more I spend the worse it gets. I had serious trouble with the banks because of my credit cards three times. (Luckily, I am still a college student and the damages are little)

I tried some dynamic therapies, but I dropped them every time because I got bored, lost faith in my therapist and so.

Now, the new psychiatrist I am seeing suggested that I try some cognitive-behavioral approach. Do you think that might help? I am sure I can find more and more examples from my life that fits the "if it gets bad, do more to make it worse!" pattern! Now, I wonder what could be the unconscious motive behind it. Can anyone relate to it?






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