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Re: Depressive Grandiosity and Narcissism beardedlady

Posted by Dinah on June 15, 2002, at 12:04:18

In reply to Re: Depressive Grandiosity and Narcissism Mark H., posted by beardedlady on June 15, 2002, at 9:05:33

As to what you could have done differently? Nothing whatsoever. You did nothing wrong. You responded to what I wrote. You had no way of knowing that I would have no clear idea of what on earth you were talking about. You had no way of knowing that my OCD was acting up, leading to loss of sleep and cognitive abilities. You had no way of knowing that I was having trouble with concentration and that I would have trouble understanding a long post touching on several topics. You had no way of knowing that my OCD and scrupulosity would cause me to panic at the thought that I had done something wrong causing me to have a grand panic attack and regress. How on earth would you have known any of those things?

That won't help you in your general question of what to do in those circumstances I suppose. But in the particular example you posed, I just wanted to let you know the fault was with me, not you.

That may not be of much use to you, since I perfectly understand that you will probably never wish to address another post to me (that's not paranoia, that's embarassment), and what is true about this one incident with me certainly can not be generalized to all circumstances, but you expressed frustration and I merely wished to explain.

Please, if I have expressed myself badly, realize that I harbor no ill will towards you, blame you for nothing, and am merely attempting to explain what you requested an explanation for.

One little clarification, though:

> , she didn't recall ever having thought the post was about her!

I realize my sentence clearly said I did, but that was an error in my sentence, which should have read that my feelings were influenced by the fact that I recognize that the board was quieter when I wasn't around and that I identified with the type of posters referred to. Which I suppose was grandiose in one way, but still is different than thinking that IsoM's post referred to me specifically. So if you meant the former, I plead guilty, if you mean the latter I plead innocent, and hope you will respect the fact that I know what was in my mind, while I respect that you saw what I wrote. I take full responsibility for the fact that what I wrote did not reflect what I meant. And just in case you were wondering why I wrote that at all, it was because I wanted to be scrupulously honest in admitting that my feelings and ideas may be biased. You don't have to believe it, of course, but since I didn't express myself too clearly yesterday I thought I'd give it one more shot. :)




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