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Re: To be honest or not mair

Posted by wendy b. on June 10, 2002, at 11:43:39

In reply to Re: To be honest or not, posted by mair on June 9, 2002, at 21:42:22

> Thanks for your responses. I've been seeing this therapist for over 3 years now and I've never quite been in this situation. Our vacations seem to coincide since we both have school age children, or maybe I've just been in better shape other times. When I first started seeing her my pdoc was someone who had been my therapist before and my therapist just made sure I had at least one appointment to see him while she was gone. My current pdoc is really just a meds consultant - I don't feel particularly connected to her and I'm not scheduled to see her again until mid July. However I could certainly call her if need arose.
> It's not just the lack of back-up that concerns me - because I always do seem to weather things. I think it's maybe more that I'm sort of on the edge emotionally now and I need to maybe be talking to her about that and I feel reluctant to get into any discussion that can't be finished in the 2 sessions we have left before she leaves. I'm afraid that if we go down that road, she'll feel bad about the timing and I'll feel worse for having been left dangling.
> Thanks again
> Mair

Dear Mair,
I agree with Beardy, Judy, and Mashogr8 that there's no other way, even if you have only two more sessions. That's plenty of time, given the constraints of the situation, to explain to her that you're on the edge emotionally right now, and have her help you. Two sessions gives you more time than if you don't mention it at all. And it's surely an ongoing discussion (for you and for many of us, including me).

If your therapist feels bad about the timing, it's HER issue to work out, not yours. You don't have to take on that guilt of the *possibility* that she'll feel bad. And I'm sure she'll feel sorry for you, not to the point of changing her plans (she shouldn't do that). But you are asking her to acknowledge your dread of the situation - being without her during what looks like will be a bad time for you - and she of course will do that. The second thing she should do is provide you a name of another therapist (as the others mentioned) whom you could call if you needed to. This is standard for therapists going on vacation. If she does that soon, you could call this person now to introduce yourself, perhaps. That might make you feel more secure.

Not bringing this up would be a shame, because learning to ask for what you want (even if it's not possible to get it) is part of the process of change. You CAN ask for help on this issue, and you CAN get at least some of the relief you so need right now. I hope you do...

Love, and keep writing,





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poster:wendy b. thread:259