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Re: Personally - on Personality » wendy b.

Posted by beardedlady on June 8, 2002, at 6:37:32

In reply to Re: Personally - on Personality » beardedlady, posted by wendy b. on June 8, 2002, at 0:17:15


I am already on a med—Serzone, and it's an anti-depressant. It works for my sleep, and when I sleep, life is fine. I have tried other meds--for many other conditions--and have had bad reactions to them (inability to think, inability to sleep, dizziness, allergy, etc.). Since I have a good life and have lived this way forever without having to take meds, I don't want to gum up the works at this stage in my life. I don't have the time to experiment.

I have not scared either of my doctors. My pdoc is on the trail of a replacement med in case the Serzone messes up my liver, and we've tried a few things, none of which have worked. My therapist is a natural kind of guy, and his first answer is not going to be meds with me because I haven't shown any sign to need them for anything other than sleep (and I think I'm not in an emergency situation, if you know what I mean). This is the first time we've discussed happiness.

I looked up dysthemia. I really have to say I'm more of a curmudgeon than someone with this disorder, as it has not exactly gone away ever, so I know no other state. I am not weepy or sobby, unless I don't sleep, and I have my ducks in a row with hobbies, friends, life, etc. It's just a general blahness; it doesn't keep me from leaving my house or enjoying my life. I just don't smile all that much while doing things I find pleasant.

I appreciate your help. And please remember: I'm the one on the med board telling people that we should not be beating ourselves up over having to take meds. Someone told me his goal was to find out what was causing his problem, get therapy for it, and go off meds for good. I told him that my sister found out what caused her allergies, her reflux, and her severe asthma, and that my other friend knew what caused type I diabetes, yet neither of them were able to go off their meds.

I am all for treating known conditions with medicines. I take Ibuprofen when I have a headache. I take Zantac when I have heartburn. I take a Sonata (last night, in fact) when I have trouble sleeping, and I take Serzone every day.

Forgive me if I don't believe in jumping on the med trail for an as-yet-undiagnosed condition I've had all my life and thought was normal. I am not in mental pain or anguish. I am not suffering. I have a terrific life. I'm just not a happy, cheerful, joyous person most of the time.

My best friend has dyslexia and is a healer (Carolyn Myss style, very psychic--even if you don't believe in it, she can prove it). I sent her two poems yesterday, and she wrote me back that they were awesome and that maybe my unhappiness was my gift to the world.

I don't know if I agree, but there are aspects of my personality that I wouldn't change for the world.

Thanks for your concern.

beardy : />




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