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Re: frustrated with therapy katekite

Posted by sid on May 28, 2002, at 22:51:57

In reply to frustrated with therapy, posted by katekite on May 28, 2002, at 21:39:07

I'm sorry to hear about your therapy problems. We go there to resolve our problems, and it often becomes a problem in itself!

Well, for starters, nobody's perfect, and your therapist is no exception. Keep that in mind. We tend to put professors, mentors, therapists, doctors, etc. on a pedestal and assume they will perform perfectly, always. That can't be, they're people like you and me who have on and off days too.

About the medical problems: I think, indirectly, he's telling you that he can't help you. He's not a doctor. He's telling you to get to a doctor, or a team of them, and deal with it there. What more do you want from him? Support? Perhaps he does not feel it's his job to do that. He's not a friend, not a family member, not your husband. He's there to help you progress in the way you want to. Does your talking to him about this make you progress in any way? Probably not. Perhaps going to a doctor would however.

Then again, if you get out of there often discontent, it may be time to change therapist. Therapists are not good or bad (well, some maybe) - they're good or bad with some people, some issues, etc. Do you get your money's worth? If not, then change. Another VERY important question is: do you do your part of the work? No matter how good a therapist is, if the client does not want to progress or delays progrerssing, for fear of whatever, consciously or not, there isn't much the therapist can do. For example, my hunch is that he does not feel that this medical problem is something he can help you with, and that talking about it is time wasted in your sessions. I may be wrong, mind you.

Why don't you have him read your message? Or summarize it if you don't want him to read every detail you wrote. Discuss the issues with him. Ask him bluntly: am I wasting my time here? Do I seem like I'm hiding from something? It takes 2 to tango in therapy. Are you giving it what it needs?

Finally, if his answers are not satisfying, and if you remain discontent, then yes, by all means, change therapist.

Goos luck in this long but gratifying process.

- sid


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