Psycho-Babble Psychology | about psychological treatments | Framed
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frustrated with therapy

Posted by katekite on May 28, 2002, at 21:39:07

I don't know if it's me or the therapist.

Sometimes I feel he just wrecks my day.

He really doesn't seem to understand ADD things like how common it is to be depressed right after things go well (have some excitement, then no excitement, its a let down). So he freaks every time I'm depressed which doesn't help me learn to roll with it. Usually when I'm depressed I find its best to not concentrate on it but forge ahead and deal with some issue. Partly because of ADD I am not good at organizing the session and he lets me just wander around (figuratively) complaining... which is not what I want to do. After talking it over with him a bunch he does try to be more active but not most of the time, only when I've gone completely blank will he lead me back to what I was saying.

I've got some medical problems going and conversely, he doesn't like me talking about it. I could sob that I'm depressed 6 times in a row but bring up needing advice on how to deal with chronic unpredictable medical things and he glazes right over. I try to not obsess about it too much, like maybe only every 3rd or 4th time will I bring it up, but I really could use the support and for some reason he doesn't seem like he wants to give it. He says he believes me, that it's not in my head etc, but that I just need to assemble a team of doctors and let them figure it out. That seems to end the discussion. I'm not sure if obsessing about it is something I am only allowed to do in private? I figure its pretty natural to worry about bizarre numbness that's unpredictable, stuff like that. I'm not good at not thinking about things I can do nothing about. It just seems weird how he's dealing or not dealing with it.

My husband is getting therapy and it seems like he's making a ton of progress: I'm jealous. I've tried to replicate the type of thing that goes on but we just end up talking about my parents ad nauseaum -- ok they weren't perfect but I've been over it a million times -- I find it almost too easy to spend an hour talking about childhood. I feel like time would be better spent on the present or recent past? I don't really know. My husband seems to spend the time actively practicing being assertive - I could use some of that.

I don't have a clear idea of what I want to change, is part of it. I'd like to be better at dealing with everything, LOL. I've seen this guy for 6 months and it just doesn't seem to go anywhere, but he knows me so well. He's better than a couple others but not as good as one past one in CA. I've asked him what he thinks my major issues are, I genuinely need his opinion, and its just 'what do you think?'....

At what point do you decide its time to move on?
I don't know how to work harder at this...

This guy is so nice, so supportive for mood things, and you know, doesn't think I'm borderline or anything that I'm not. He seems to have my diagnosis clear and that's something.

I actually discussed some of this.... talked about the ADD aspect and even offered a book on it (that was hard to do without seeming critical) and he kind of just laughed it off, although I think he got the point at the time. He seems to forget things almost as much as I do.

At the same time by the time the next appointment rolls around I'm desperate to talk to him -- I'm attached and feel supported and all that good stuff. If I've been down and just need a good ear he's awesome and I come away happier.

How good can a therapist be?





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