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Re: Sexual harrassment/abuse/humour

Posted by ST on May 27, 2002, at 2:17:02

In reply to Re: Sexual harrassment/abuse/humour sid, posted by Dinah1 on May 21, 2002, at 19:06:35

Hi sid,

First of all, he's not joking. He says that they are jokes to help dissapate the negative effect his remarks have on you; it takes the heat off him. And it cruelly turns the tables on you, making you look like the "uptight one", the one who "can't even take a joke".

By all means, tell your sister. How do you feel about writing a letter? When I've really needed to make my feelings clear, but felt I'd lose my power in a confrontation, I've written letters. I've never regretted it. Write it all out, get it all out and let the letter sit on top of dresser (or in a folder on your computer). Go back to it in 48 hours and revise. Let it sit. Go back and revise. When you feel comfortable with it, give it to your sister. I think it may be easier for you to say everything you need to say if you are not interupted, if you can carefully chose how and what to say. If you can tell your story without feeling sidetracked or misunderstood while doing so. When I feel passionately about something, I can get so emotioanl that I can't even speak. Or I let the other person sidetrack me. Writing it all out ensures that you don't say anything you might regret; it ensures you say things exactly how you want to say it. It's really important that your sisiter hear you and understand.

Good luck,

Sarah


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