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Redirected: Redirects

Posted by Dr. Bob on July 25, 2003, at 19:54:40

Re: Redirect: Resurect'g Pleasers w/men who are Cont Dr. Bob

Posted by Daphnis on July 24, 2003, at 22:20:06

In reply to http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030723/msgs/244991.html

Oh, woops! but how does one sort that out, really? I mean, I am thinking about whether or not to pursue the Effexor thing, and exploring all this new stuff, and people who have experience. and I don't WANT to go off somewhere else...The medication issue is behind it all. (Sorry to be contrary.

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Re: Redirect: Resurect'g Pleasers w/men who are Cont

Posted by Yankeegirl on July 24, 2003, at 22:29:14

In reply to Re: Redirect: Resurect'g Pleasers w/men who are Cont Dr. Bob, posted by Daphnis on July 24, 2003, at 22:20:06

> Oh, woops! but how does one sort that out, really? I mean, I am thinking about whether or not to pursue the Effexor thing, and exploring all this new stuff, and people who have experience. and I don't WANT to go off somewhere else...The medication issue is behind it all. (Sorry to be contrary.

Daphnis, I agree with you. And Dr. Bob, other posters are talking about their issues. Why was my post deleted? Do you want ALL of us to go to the other site to talk about the reasons we are taking Effexor??? Yankeegirl

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Re: Redirect: Yankeegirl

Posted by Daphnis on July 24, 2003, at 22:48:39

In reply to Re: Redirect: Resurect'g Pleasers w/men who are Cont, posted by Yankeegirl on July 24, 2003, at 22:29:14

this is sort of amusing, the title and all... Other posters are totally talking issues and giving support, talking about their days, their moods, their pasts and their feelings... I think I did read your long post somewhere, tacked onto the end of a letter., another post. Maybe it was a computer glitch? I guess not, with the "redirect" label and all.

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to Daph, merc, Kim, Willie, Cher, Susy, et al. and Yankeegirl

Posted by zinya on July 24, 2003, at 23:45:40

In reply to Re: Redirect: Resurect'g Pleasers w/men who are Cont, posted by Yankeegirl on July 24, 2003, at 22:29:14

I just got to these posts and i TOTALLY agree with you. Separating out Effexor issues from social issues and compartmentalizing just won't work. I say mush on. We're doing fine.
(and you thought *you* were contrarian! :))

Yg, are you sure it was deleted? At least once, i forget to hit the second 'submit' that says "confirm" ... Try paging back to see if you can find it and try again?

hugs,
zinya

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Re: to Daph, merc, Kim, Willie, Cher, Susy, et al. and

Posted by Yankeegirl on July 25, 2003, at 1:23:40

In reply to to Daph, merc, Kim, Willie, Cher, Susy, et al. and Yankeegirl, posted by zinya on July 24, 2003, at 23:45:40

> I just got to these posts and i TOTALLY agree with you. Separating out Effexor issues from social issues and compartmentalizing just won't work. I say mush on. We're doing fine.
> (and you thought *you* were contrarian! :))
>
> Yg, are you sure it was deleted? At least once, i forget to hit the second 'submit' that says "confirm" ... Try paging back to see if you can find it and try again?
>
> hugs,
> zinya

Hi Zinya, Hey, thanks for your support! Wasn't I a good little girl, doing as I was told and saying goodbye after being told I don't belong here? "ok, I'll just put my tail between my legs, sorry I broke your rules, bye'

I'm pretty sure it was deleted - I did get that page message that it was posted, but then it wasn't there. In it I did some MINOR male bashing, and how I came to discover my husband was a verbal abuser and not just 'says mean things occasionally' - all in the context of my belief that the controller chooses the doormat, not that the woman intentionally chooses a man who will abuse her. Except for the male bashing, I certainly had nothing in there that wasn't like all the other posts here - about all the stuff that causes our depression and anxiety in the first place. If he wants this to really be about Effexor, fine, but how come all the other posts have been all right? I'm stumped, and this feeling of rejection sure isn't good for my avoidant personality disorder hee hee :) Yankeegirl

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Re: Redirect: Dr Bob, I take medication Dr. Bob

Posted by mercedes on July 25, 2003, at 3:09:26

In reply to http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20030723/msgs/244991.html

Dear Dr. Bob: I AM on Effexor XR, now up to 300mgs per day. My needs are psycological and I do see a psychiatrist. If you've followed my previous posts, you would have seen that I have supported, been responsive, and have shared my own experiences regarding the drug Effexor, which is a anti-anxiety, anti-depressant, and falls in line with "psycological treatment" right? We also discuse SE's of med's. I beleive that what led us to be on medication are "medication issues". I don't see any postings by any psycologist here.

Most importantly, all my very caring psycobabble friends have helped me out so much with my "psycological issues" by discussing their "psycological issues".

I guess I'm not understanding the point here but anyway thanks for the suggestion. I'm not the social type (another psycological issue of mine) so I guess I'm staying here.
Mercedes
**************************

> > I just had to go back and resurrect this subject...
>
> I don't mean to disrupt this very nice discussion, but I'd like to ask that follow-ups be redirected to another board if they don't relate to medication issues. Psychological Babble is about psychology and psychological treatments, Psycho-Social-Babble is for general support and "just" being social, etc. Here's a link to the latter for this topic:
>
> http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030719/msgs/244989.html
>
> Thanks,
>
> Bob

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This is fascinating. mercedes

Posted by Daphnis on July 25, 2003, at 7:22:16

In reply to Re: Effexor Your post to me Yankeegirl, posted by mercedes on July 25, 2003, at 3:48:55

Soma amazing things going on here. Like: "Whose internet is it?"
And the site rules.
and the legitimacy of that, but the control issues of womens free discussion. I see some gender issues here. You can't delineate and prioritize the freedom and inclusiveness of womens conversation. that's sort of a male model.
At the same time, the forum is provided, and that's great. We may need another meeting place in the event of revolutionary freedom and growth.
Let me clarify that I have no hard feelings here. Just concern.

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Re: To read Y's post here - Dr. Bob Yankeegirl

Posted by CherC68 on July 25, 2003, at 7:36:42

In reply to Re: Redirect: Resurect'g Pleasers w/men who are Cont, posted by Yankeegirl on July 24, 2003, at 22:29:14

Please cut & paste the following to get Yankeegirl's original post.

http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030719/msgs/244989.html


OH MY GOSH. I'm surprised all my posts are not deleted and Yankee - that's what I mean by being strong.

If a man got in my face about something - I'd probably kick his butt - but something as minor as what Dr. Bob did by asking for us to move that discussion to another site actually gave me tears in my eyes because I was embarrassed.

1. for you because I didn't want your feelings hurt; and
2. because I always post myself babbling here in the effexor site about nothing & everything and now I'm really just embarrassed.

I hope none of us have to leave here - but...dang I guess I'm too sensitive cause now I'm like - alrighty dumb a** see now everything is going to be messed up and you shouldn't have talked about anything but effexor and now others are getting in trouble etc. That's how I feel. I'm a friggin' adult and that's how I feel - upset by a comment by Dr. Bob - our host - and now my world is upside down.

See I'm nuts.

Love,
Cher

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Re: To read Y's post here - Dr. Bob CherC68

Posted by Daphnis on July 25, 2003, at 7:48:13

In reply to Re: To read Y's post here - Dr. Bob Yankeegirl, posted by CherC68 on July 25, 2003, at 7:36:42

Hey, cher. You didn't do a bad thing. We are all so sensitive. and now we all are struggling with being shamed. Not that DB's intentions are bad. He is just trying to run the site in the way he envisions it. Remember, He is doing research and it is just easier and clearer for him if it is organized by category. and I am sure he thinks it is easier for "seekers" or "searchers" to get what they need if it is "cleaner and clearer" (sorry to speak for you here, DB, but I am just working through this. I understand I may be way off the mark) but women work through things by talking like this. And our lives are all of a piece, not compartmentalized and fragmented.
and, everyone, if you have noticed, he is not intruding here, whether by choice or because he is busy. So we are doing just fine.
Toxic shame is at the core of a lot of this stuff.
All the posts I have read are relevant and helpful. I am going to be late to work, so more later....

--

Re: Cher

Posted by willie on July 25, 2003, at 7:48:42

In reply to http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/19991028/msgs/13781.html

Cher...just read your message before I signed off. Don't be upset. If Dr. Bob wants us to use the social site, then we'll move. Who knows, we may even find other great people to communicate with. It doesn't mean we have to stop communicating. I think Dr. Bob just wants this site to be a resource to people who are experiencing side effects and need support with the drug. With all of us talking about other things...a person who may come to this site looking for answers, could turn away as they will not find the information they are looking for.
Sorry if this not the reason behind it Dr. Bob, but I just wanted to let Cher know not to feel negative about it.
Take care Cher...I want to hear about your Pdoc when I get back okay????

Willie

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Re: Willie Daph

Posted by CherC68 on July 25, 2003, at 8:31:54

In reply to Re: Cher, posted by willie on July 25, 2003, at 7:48:42

Thank you guys. I'm fine with it - but sometimes I get embarrassed or feel dejected or rejected by little things.

I do understand what Dr. Bob means totally - but its sometimes hard to separate the different parts of our lives and I could feel the tension and some hurt from the other posters, which made me hurt too.

Take care on vacation Willie and I hope you have a safe and happy trip.

Love,
Cher

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Re: Everyone re. the redirect

Posted by Dinah on July 25, 2003, at 10:16:52

In reply to Re: Willie Daph, posted by CherC68 on July 25, 2003, at 8:31:54

Dr. Bob wasn't banishing you from the site. Psycho-Social is just a separate board on this site. Dr. Bob likes to keep Psycho-Babble as a medication resource and discussion, and prefers social interaction to be directed to Psycho-Social Babble and talk about therapy to be directed to Psychological Babble, faith to be discussed at Psycho-Babble Faith, etc.

It probably has to do with the archives and keeping it a place to search for medication issues. It certainly isn't a rejection or anything. Psycho-Social Babble is as much a part of Dr. Bob's site as this board is.

You'll see some of the same posters, and maybe some new ones. Come on over. It's a nice place to be.

(And a big welcome to Psycho-Social Babble)

Dinah

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Re: Everyone re. the redirect Dinah

Posted by zinya on July 25, 2003, at 10:40:41

In reply to Re: Everyone re. the redirect, posted by Dinah on July 25, 2003, at 10:16:52

Dinah,

You are a 'monitor', I presume?

I am going to ask you to understand *why* some people on this board immediately took this as a kind of banishing or rejection whether it was intended that way or not.

In just the past few weeks, an incredibly rich bond has developed among the current frequenters to this site. Everything that brought us here has to do with Effexor and our drug issues, but it is entirely to be expected that in a very fluid way of exploring with each other how we arrived at our respective points of seeking or exploring a drug route to dealing with our depressions and anxieties, that we have bit by bit shared with each other more and more of the paths that led us here and the things we've learned along the way about what works and doesn't work for our dealings with depression, anxiety etc.

For us to suddenly be told to "compartmentalize" our talk -- when our posts flow in the same post back and forth between Effexor and other drug issues, side effects etc to the broader issues we're dealing with that are "psychosocial" would, in my opinion, be artificial and frankly impossible. The other site seems fine for people who arrive at psychobabble seeking general discussion and therapy. But to expect a group which has bonded and in that VERY process doing each of us a world of good because we have come to trust and care about each other -- in THIS environment -- on THIS site -- as a home of sorts where we've found a security that allows us to deal with the very interwoven complex of drug and non-drug issues we are facing to "divide up" each of our thoughts and post only the specifically medical ones here and the others somewhere else??? Well, it suggests to me a misunderstanding of what is realistic for us especially given just how hard it is in each of our situations to even start opening up to others. We've slowly but surely come to that point, and suddenly we're told to divide ourselves up into separate groupings.

I find it frankly counterproductive. I for one intend to stay here. I would feel overloaded by having two separate sites to check and monitor and then have to monitor myself to make sure i only talked about Effexor here and related topics somewhere else.

I'm sure in the course of this site, these things come and go, as they should. It doesn't mean this site is going to become something different than its original purpose. We all respect and are grateful for that. Which puts us all in a very awkward position, where there is an enormous power dynamic being tapped into here, tapping into each of our respective submissions to power where we feel we have to be grateful and therefore how dare we have a sense of justice for our own needs. And yet we do. I highly encourage you to just let us be. Over time, you will see, i'm sure, that the basic purpose of Effexor linkage is precisely what is at the heart of everything we are doing here, but at the moment a wonderful convergence has happened here with a unique bonding through this original purpose that brought us each here, and I urge you to respect and even I would hope take satisfaction in seeing just what a wonderful support group has evolved that for now means our group is in the process of exploring each other's backgrounds to what led us here, but we need to do that in the 'safety' and 'context' of this grouping here that caused us each to start opening up in the first place. We can't talk uproot to another locale and feel the same vibe that has prompted this whole evolution to take place.

Frankly, I'm sorry Dr. Bob didn't see this in context and realize it was a natural flowering of what this site has made possible. We do continue to deal with our drug issues here, and I urge you not to censor us from discussing the other issues we bring up in the same flow of our mutual sharings.

Thank you.

sincerely,

zinya

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Re: Everyone re. the redirect zinya

Posted by Dinah on July 25, 2003, at 10:55:47

In reply to Re: Everyone re. the redirect Dinah, posted by zinya on July 25, 2003, at 10:40:41

I'm a deputy, yes. But my post wasn't written as a deputy. Just as someone who wished to welcome you to Psycho-Social Babble and to assure you that Dr. Bob certainly didn't mean to hurt you. I saw that people were upset, and I just wanted to help.

This isn't a new topic, the separation of boards has long been debated. And most of us on Psycho-Social originally found this place through a search on medication and formed bonds here.

It's Dr. Bob's site, and he has his preferred way of doing things. It isn't directed to anyone in particular.

And just to make things even more confusing, discussion of posting policies really belongs at Psycho-Babble Administration, so we'll probably get a redirect there. :)

I hope this and my original post are taken in the spirit they were intended.

Best wishes,

Dinah

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Re: Pssstt.......

Posted by Dinah on July 25, 2003, at 11:09:03

In reply to Re: Everyone re. the redirect zinya, posted by Dinah on July 25, 2003, at 10:55:47

If the idea of moving to Psycho-Social Babble is that unpleasant to you (and I will try not to be offended :) ), I will let you in on a long known secret. (And hope Dr. Bob doesn't get annoyed with me for sharing it.) Just spend a bit of time in each post talking about medication. Even if a post has social content, Dr. Bob doesn't generally redirect as long as it is also medication related.

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Re: Everyone re. the redirect Dinah

Posted by mercedes on July 25, 2003, at 13:51:07

In reply to Re: Everyone re. the redirect, posted by Dinah on July 25, 2003, at 10:16:52

To Dinah the deputy. I went there..to the social babble link we were directed to. There are four posts. One is me responding to someone, and the one that was redirected by you all, dated 07/21 = 3. What's social about that? You say there are alot of poster's. Where are they? I'm serious hear, not being sarcastic, maybe I don't know how to get past the 4 postings. I'm staying here but will try to reiterate that I'm on psyco drugs in my future postings.

Mercedes

********************************
> Dr. Bob wasn't banishing you from the site. Psycho-Social is just a separate board on this site. Dr. Bob likes to keep Psycho-Babble as a medication resource and discussion, and prefers social interaction to be directed to Psycho-Social Babble and talk about therapy to be directed to Psychological Babble, faith to be discussed at Psycho-Babble Faith, etc.
>
> It probably has to do with the archives and keeping it a place to search for medication issues. It certainly isn't a rejection or anything. Psycho-Social Babble is as much a part of Dr. Bob's site as this board is.
>
> You'll see some of the same posters, and maybe some new ones. Come on over. It's a nice place to be.
>
> (And a big welcome to Psycho-Social Babble)
>
> Dinah

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Re: Everyone re. the redirect mercedes

Posted by Dinah on July 25, 2003, at 14:45:34

In reply to Re: Everyone re. the redirect Dinah, posted by mercedes on July 25, 2003, at 13:51:07

Yes, if you follow the direct link to that post, that's all you'll see. But if you go to the top of this page, under the Shark picture, you'll see a list of all the boards Babble has to offer. One of them is Psycho-Social Babble. If you click there you'll see the whole board.

Hope that helps. :)


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URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20030508/msgs/245292.html